From Karlie

I'm sitting here in Starbucks, studying, listening to my chilltime playlist, breathing. Maybe the music moves me, maybe it's exhaustion, maybe it's unstable female hormones, maybe it's completely right. But as the music builds and as the homework becomes more and more repulsive, and as unique and beautiful people filter in and out with the steadiness of a stream, my heart starts to ache and long for something unknown, and my eyes start wander. My body feels like crying, and my soul feels like running into the sky. I don't know what I'm supposed to feel like, but I think all the things I invest in distract me from whatever that is. It's deep and its rushing and its terrifying and its beautiful. I want nothing more than to be oblivious to the worlds expectations, and to love people with reckless abandon, pouring every ounce of myself into their souls. I don't know how to to do that. But watching literally hundreds and hundreds of people float mindlessly in and out convinces me that there is more than school and work and being an educated adult. My priorities are in a heap on the floor. I just want to stop wasting this precious, precious drop of time with things that claim to hold value and worth, but make me feel empty. Love is the greatest investment. I never thought I would learn that while doing homework in starbucks. I don't know if any of this makes sense at all, and I'll probably look back on it in five hours and wonder what was in my coffee. It's uncalled for and it's ridiculous. But there is not a single person in this world that isn't just that, even a little. And there's not a person in this world that shouldn't be loved and cherished. It's not my job to save the world, nor am I capable. But it's my job to be one little world. drops start ripples, ripples start waves, and when it rains, I want to give every last bit of my drop. No one could ask me for more, but its even more foolish to ask for nothing at all and tell me to just keep being a good girl. I want to invest. I want to sacrifice. I want to hold. I want to offer. I want to supply. I want to direct. I want to give. I want to become peace. I want to love with a new level of depth. I want to fall into the soul of God Himself and do it with all that I am. I ask for nothing more. And I refuse to ask for anything less. I don't know what any of this means, at all. I'm sorry this is taking twenty minutes of your life. I don't know if this is significant at all, or if I'll be embarrassed about it in two days. And I don't know if it's right, or wrong, or completely outrageous. But to me it's worth entertaining the fact that we could be doing everything completely wrong, if we discover that deep within us is the way to do it right. Thanks for listening to my abstract mind, like I said, I don't know what this means. I don't know what possessed me to write it. But I had to, so I did, and I had to share it with someone, so I shared it with you. If you see a grain of sanity and an ounce truth buried in it somewhere, hold me to a new standard. And maybe give me a little feedback. Thanks for your time. 

No credit goes to me for this blog post, I am just the messenger. If you know Karlie Mountjoy, let her know what you thought :)