I love describing things to people in real life because I think I'm good at it.
I get into a flow and I start making little connections and metaphors that make perfect sense to me (but not always to other people, weird huh) and it's just fun. I like following rabbit trails or exploring ideas and fleshing them out, even if to the detriment of my original point.
I don't always speak in proper syntax, but I'm kinda glad for it. I think the rules of English can become clunky and restrictive and honestly they feel like a bottleneck sometimes. I like the "spur of the moment" feel or pressure of feeling like I don't know what I'm going to say next but not even worrying about it. There's something refreshing to me about letting my thoughts tumble out for minutes at a time then winding them back up and presenting a coherent idea or conclusion to my comrades.
Maybe it gets me in trouble (it definitely gets me in trouble) when I rant or ramble or forget where I was going with a story but doesn't everything have a cost? Aren't there consequences for every action and don't we have to deal with them every time we make a choice? Of course there are! I would willingly sacrifice a little bit of literary integrity or "coherence" if I stumbled upon a novel idea or nugget of wisdom hidden among the brambles in my mind.
Maybe I'm just wishing that I was more integrated in forums of verbal interaction(uh, definitely). I guess typing is the next best thing when it comes to coming across brain nuggets. You'll be hearing more from me here in the future, as I attempt to flesh out my endless wanderings and release my pent up need to TALK! there, I said it. I have a lot of things and guess what everyone's advice is? Start a blog. Well, good thing I already have one, so step one is out of the way.
Let me know if this is worth while in the comments or just keep on scrolling, that's fine too. Imagine, while you're reading this, that we are just sitting at a coffee shop (your fav one, perhaps?) and I'm just telling you something that's been on my mind. I'm not trying to yell or push an agenda, I'm just trying to process these over reactive neurons of mine.
Talk to you soon,
John
Saturday, July 1, 2017
Sunday, January 31, 2016
Look
There are so many unanswered questions
so many legitimate fears.
There are so many insecurities and I wish there was some cure all,
some panacea that I could share with the people I love, something to answer them, to calm them, to reassure them.
"I want to save you";
but that sort of thing will never stem from me or some one like me.
We are in the same situation, you and I.
All of us, humans, on a dying planet, unable to see past the horizon or the tip of our collective nose.
There is no earthly thing to bring us hope, no solution for our issues
No salvation for our tormented minds.
Nothing that originates on this planet will conclusively and ultimately help us.
We are lost
Beyond comprehension, in the refuse of our own actions and thoughts, but still caged in our untamed nature.
We are, from our own perspective, stuck in an infinite loop of failure, loss, self-doubt, and failure again.
Nothing that we can fathom will save us.
The greatest minds, both past and contemporary, have spent immeasurable energy searching for our cure, only to meet the same fate, the same common denominator, as their lesser fellows.
Our shared end, even if we take every opportunity given us and maximize every moment or brain cell, is to experience the decay of age and his voracious brother
death
After giving this life every vestige of effort, every breath and every heartbeat, the ultimate failure of the self-sufficient human is death.
None escape this fate.
There is no will that is not bent in the grasp of death.
We must only open our eyes to see this truth and all must accept it.
But there is another truth that I have witnessed
Another absolute that, by its very nature, cannot be explained away or escaped.
It can be denied, however, and unlike death, it is not a truth ultimately believed by every human.
After experiencing the truly impossible and hopeless nature of myself and my fellow human, I have seen help.
In the midst of my monotony and pain, in the centre of this whirlwind life,
I have felt something else.
As I said, this feeling can be ignored or pushed aside;
But it is always there.
This feeling does not come from a test tube or a text book.
In fact it is, by definition, something I can't explain. But when I open my own eyes and look into someone else's, I see it.
In a knee bent low in service,
I see it.
In a mother's unyielding devotion to her children,
I see it.
In the selfless giving of wealth to those who have none,
I see it.
In the tireless care of a disabled grandparent or sibling,
I see it.
This absolute, this truth that I can't explain away
It's immeasurable
By its very nature, it is unfathomable.
It looks like a person looking out, away from themselves,
Breaking the magnetic pull of a mirror
And finding another soul to care for.
This is not natural.
This answer fills a hole that I had thought un-fillable.
If I cannot fathom an answer for my questions, in spite of all my searching and the searchings of all before me,
There must be none here.
But because I have felt this thing,
This truth that I can't comprehend,
I conclude that it must come from outside this world.
And it is Good.
so many legitimate fears.
There are so many insecurities and I wish there was some cure all,
some panacea that I could share with the people I love, something to answer them, to calm them, to reassure them.
"I want to save you";
but that sort of thing will never stem from me or some one like me.
We are in the same situation, you and I.
All of us, humans, on a dying planet, unable to see past the horizon or the tip of our collective nose.
There is no earthly thing to bring us hope, no solution for our issues
No salvation for our tormented minds.
Nothing that originates on this planet will conclusively and ultimately help us.
We are lost
Beyond comprehension, in the refuse of our own actions and thoughts, but still caged in our untamed nature.
We are, from our own perspective, stuck in an infinite loop of failure, loss, self-doubt, and failure again.
Nothing that we can fathom will save us.
The greatest minds, both past and contemporary, have spent immeasurable energy searching for our cure, only to meet the same fate, the same common denominator, as their lesser fellows.
Our shared end, even if we take every opportunity given us and maximize every moment or brain cell, is to experience the decay of age and his voracious brother
death
After giving this life every vestige of effort, every breath and every heartbeat, the ultimate failure of the self-sufficient human is death.
None escape this fate.
There is no will that is not bent in the grasp of death.
We must only open our eyes to see this truth and all must accept it.
But there is another truth that I have witnessed
Another absolute that, by its very nature, cannot be explained away or escaped.
It can be denied, however, and unlike death, it is not a truth ultimately believed by every human.
After experiencing the truly impossible and hopeless nature of myself and my fellow human, I have seen help.
In the midst of my monotony and pain, in the centre of this whirlwind life,
I have felt something else.
As I said, this feeling can be ignored or pushed aside;
But it is always there.
This feeling does not come from a test tube or a text book.
In fact it is, by definition, something I can't explain. But when I open my own eyes and look into someone else's, I see it.
In a knee bent low in service,
I see it.
In a mother's unyielding devotion to her children,
I see it.
In the selfless giving of wealth to those who have none,
I see it.
In the tireless care of a disabled grandparent or sibling,
I see it.
This absolute, this truth that I can't explain away
It's immeasurable
By its very nature, it is unfathomable.
It looks like a person looking out, away from themselves,
Breaking the magnetic pull of a mirror
And finding another soul to care for.
This is not natural.
This answer fills a hole that I had thought un-fillable.
If I cannot fathom an answer for my questions, in spite of all my searching and the searchings of all before me,
There must be none here.
But because I have felt this thing,
This truth that I can't comprehend,
I conclude that it must come from outside this world.
And it is Good.
Friday, August 9, 2013
To My Followers
Dear Followers,
Thank you for following my blog :)
You validate me in my musings and need for self confidence.
I would like to reaffirm you
Whatever life is serving you right now
It's just one dish of many
The banquet of life is a full course meal
Some of the dishes are bitter
Some are sweet
I know it can be hard to swallow tough meat
But there's a salad at hand
There's a beverage to wash it down with
There's a dessert waiting at the end
All that imagery was meant to tell you
You can do it :)
You can wake up tomorrow and do it again
I'm not going to give you a false hope and say there will always be some one next to you
Helping you
Cause your friends and family just may fail you
They may not!
And that is the ideal
But what I'm saying is
Even if they do
You have it within you to succeed
God made you in His image
And yes, there is a hole in your whole where He needs to fit in
But He doesn't make broken people
He made the real deal when He made you, oh follower
And He threw away the mold
A perfect collectors item
One of a kind
Chock full of potential and abilities
Just waiting for the chance to show the world how great you can really be
Maybe you don't believe that God made you perfect
Maybe someone in your life has looked on you in contempt and planted the lie in your mind that you are inferior
That you are weak
But that ^ is not true
Not one bit of it is true
God makes treasures, not waste
And you still may not believe me
But try this
Hold up your hand in front of your face and observe
Lines
Fingerprints
Close it
Open it
Fan those phalanges out
That's pretty cool when you think on it.
There are my cliches
I'm not out to convince you that you are a perfect creation, however flawed now by this world
I'm not trying to convince you of anything because
Only you have the power to choose what you believe
No matter how hard the rest of us try to change you
You're still you
And you decide
No, I'm here to remind you
Remind you, perhaps, of a happier time
Remind you that you've seen yourself do some pretty cool things
Remind you to hold onto that hope that you have felt
However few times you've felt it
You've felt it
Even for a second
Return to that moment in your head
And maybe, just maybe
Some of those doubts will dissipate for a moment.
I have no idea if that will work or not
But I do know, from experience, from observation
From being a human myself,
That you, YOU
Are sweet and beautiful
And you don't you forget it
I love you :)
John H.
Thank you for following my blog :)
You validate me in my musings and need for self confidence.
I would like to reaffirm you
Whatever life is serving you right now
It's just one dish of many
The banquet of life is a full course meal
Some of the dishes are bitter
Some are sweet
I know it can be hard to swallow tough meat
But there's a salad at hand
There's a beverage to wash it down with
There's a dessert waiting at the end
All that imagery was meant to tell you
You can do it :)
You can wake up tomorrow and do it again
I'm not going to give you a false hope and say there will always be some one next to you
Helping you
Cause your friends and family just may fail you
They may not!
And that is the ideal
But what I'm saying is
Even if they do
You have it within you to succeed
God made you in His image
And yes, there is a hole in your whole where He needs to fit in
But He doesn't make broken people
He made the real deal when He made you, oh follower
And He threw away the mold
A perfect collectors item
One of a kind
Chock full of potential and abilities
Just waiting for the chance to show the world how great you can really be
Maybe you don't believe that God made you perfect
Maybe someone in your life has looked on you in contempt and planted the lie in your mind that you are inferior
That you are weak
But that ^ is not true
Not one bit of it is true
God makes treasures, not waste
And you still may not believe me
But try this
Hold up your hand in front of your face and observe
Lines
Fingerprints
Close it
Open it
Fan those phalanges out
That's pretty cool when you think on it.
There are my cliches
I'm not out to convince you that you are a perfect creation, however flawed now by this world
I'm not trying to convince you of anything because
Only you have the power to choose what you believe
No matter how hard the rest of us try to change you
You're still you
And you decide
No, I'm here to remind you
Remind you, perhaps, of a happier time
Remind you that you've seen yourself do some pretty cool things
Remind you to hold onto that hope that you have felt
However few times you've felt it
You've felt it
Even for a second
Return to that moment in your head
And maybe, just maybe
Some of those doubts will dissipate for a moment.
I have no idea if that will work or not
But I do know, from experience, from observation
From being a human myself,
That you, YOU
Are sweet and beautiful
And you don't you forget it
I love you :)
John H.
Tuesday, July 2, 2013
Movement
There are many things that need to move
Many things that have movement built right into their genetic code
Grasshoppers
Butterflies
I guess bugs in general
People
Foxes
Basically anything that has breath has to move
But even plants move in the wind
The real nut I'm trying to crack here is the truth that
Everything must move
Mentally, we must move
Physically, we've got to get out and about
Psychologically, if we don't move its called going crazy
Nostalgically, we have to live in the present and not stay stuck in the past
It's been a long time since I've written, not sure if anyone even reads this anymore
But I'm so struck by how fast the world is moving
If you don't move a long with it,
You are already stuck in the past
I don't want to be "that guy"
But I don't want to change just to change
I wan't to change because the change is good
Here is a good example:
My favorite bands used to be
Switchfoot
Relient K
And I still really like them, I think they are talented musicians and I want to support them
But I've branched out
Found new tunes that inspire me just as much or more
But I still talk about those bands as though they are all I listen to
Even tho I may not have listened to them in a long time
Why do I do that?
I think, perhaps, I'm not moving as much as I think
My senses are moving into adulthood
My social life is moving, more or less, into a more
John Hoehn state
But my long terms memories are still occupying a lot of my brain
And they seem to be stuck
Stuck Stuck stuck
stuck
Yuck
Maybe I need to do something big again
To remind me what moving feels like
That's a big reason I got a tattoo
I needed the reminder that I am an adult
And My life choices aren't made for me anymore
Which is both a freedom and a responsibility
Freedom to define myself
Freedom to do what I want in my leisure time
Freedom to go where I want
Responsibility to keep myself alive
Responsibility to look out for my future and those who will inevitably come into my future
Responsibility to present myself in a reputable way
That freedom to define myself is what's catching me right now
I don't know what I want John Justus Angelo Hoehn to be
I want people to think something when they hear that name
But heck, I've got to give them a reason, don't I?
Certainly
Now just to decide what that is ;)
Cya Latah, JH
Many things that have movement built right into their genetic code
Grasshoppers
Butterflies
I guess bugs in general
People
Foxes
Basically anything that has breath has to move
But even plants move in the wind
The real nut I'm trying to crack here is the truth that
Everything must move
Mentally, we must move
Physically, we've got to get out and about
Psychologically, if we don't move its called going crazy
Nostalgically, we have to live in the present and not stay stuck in the past
It's been a long time since I've written, not sure if anyone even reads this anymore
But I'm so struck by how fast the world is moving
If you don't move a long with it,
You are already stuck in the past
I don't want to be "that guy"
But I don't want to change just to change
I wan't to change because the change is good
Here is a good example:
My favorite bands used to be
Switchfoot
Relient K
And I still really like them, I think they are talented musicians and I want to support them
But I've branched out
Found new tunes that inspire me just as much or more
But I still talk about those bands as though they are all I listen to
Even tho I may not have listened to them in a long time
Why do I do that?
I think, perhaps, I'm not moving as much as I think
My senses are moving into adulthood
My social life is moving, more or less, into a more
John Hoehn state
But my long terms memories are still occupying a lot of my brain
And they seem to be stuck
Stuck Stuck stuck
stuck
Yuck
Maybe I need to do something big again
To remind me what moving feels like
That's a big reason I got a tattoo
I needed the reminder that I am an adult
And My life choices aren't made for me anymore
Which is both a freedom and a responsibility
Freedom to define myself
Freedom to do what I want in my leisure time
Freedom to go where I want
Responsibility to keep myself alive
Responsibility to look out for my future and those who will inevitably come into my future
Responsibility to present myself in a reputable way
That freedom to define myself is what's catching me right now
I don't know what I want John Justus Angelo Hoehn to be
I want people to think something when they hear that name
But heck, I've got to give them a reason, don't I?
Certainly
Now just to decide what that is ;)
Cya Latah, JH
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
Travel
The first blog I ever wrote was about my "Bus trip of a lifetime"
Well, I think that was over stating it
Cause I'm on another bus trip, and its pretty much the same
This time I'm not alone, Anna Banana is with me
This time I have a 9 hour layover in Chicago, instead of a 4 hour one
I'm currently in Union Station, which I did not enter last time
We have at least 2 1/2 hours left until we leave
So I blog.
Blog Blog Blog
What the heck is bloggin anyway?
A journal for the world?
An artistic outlet?
A pointless record of a bunch of random people who think they have something worthwhile to say?
Who even knows?
I'm just killin time now
And listening to the Head and the Heart
And watchin my sista drift into sleep
My muscles are so SORE!!
We walked down to the lakeshore
With all our luggage
And when I say luggage, you should know
I'm going back home from college
And Anna is moving back home from Michigan
The Megabus only lets you take one checked bag and a carry on
Let me tell you, we are at the max
My bag is at least 50 pounds
And my backpack
About 48
Cheese
My arms
My poor, twig-like arms
If you know me
You know what I mean
2 1/2 miles carrying probs 100 pounds
Dangum!!!
it's a rough life ;)
But I got to see my other Sister Ruth and her Husband Andrew
And their sweet child, only about 6 months old :)
I was there when she was born, day before Thanksgiving
Now Anna and I are taking the bus back to good Ol' Nebraska
To see my ...
Parents!
Friends!
Brother and his band on tour from Australia!
Brother's wife and 6ish month old daughter!( yep, they about the same age ;)
Brother's parents in law!
Whillickers
There's a lot to do in the 12ish days i'll be home
Before I go back to Searcy, AR on the 28th
So I can go on tour with Theatron for 10 weeks
That's an acting/ drama ministry group from Harding University, if you didn't know
So when I title this post "Travel,"
Now you know why
Cause I will not be in one place more than 2 weeks this summer
With the exclusion of Uplift, Harding's summer camp, which lasts about 3 weeks
Still.
I be on the moooove
Call me the south wind
Cause I'll be moving all summer too ;)
That's all
Keep a joyous attitude this Summer!!
And please, if you've got any cray cray summer travel plans, leave a comment!
Always Hope, Love REGARDLESS, and Please, Peace Out
John
Well, I think that was over stating it
Cause I'm on another bus trip, and its pretty much the same
This time I'm not alone, Anna Banana is with me
This time I have a 9 hour layover in Chicago, instead of a 4 hour one
I'm currently in Union Station, which I did not enter last time
We have at least 2 1/2 hours left until we leave
So I blog.
Blog Blog Blog
What the heck is bloggin anyway?
A journal for the world?
An artistic outlet?
A pointless record of a bunch of random people who think they have something worthwhile to say?
Who even knows?
I'm just killin time now
And listening to the Head and the Heart
And watchin my sista drift into sleep
My muscles are so SORE!!
We walked down to the lakeshore
With all our luggage
And when I say luggage, you should know
I'm going back home from college
And Anna is moving back home from Michigan
The Megabus only lets you take one checked bag and a carry on
Let me tell you, we are at the max
My bag is at least 50 pounds
And my backpack
About 48
Cheese
My arms
My poor, twig-like arms
If you know me
You know what I mean
2 1/2 miles carrying probs 100 pounds
Dangum!!!
it's a rough life ;)
But I got to see my other Sister Ruth and her Husband Andrew
And their sweet child, only about 6 months old :)
I was there when she was born, day before Thanksgiving
Now Anna and I are taking the bus back to good Ol' Nebraska
To see my ...
Parents!
Friends!
Brother and his band on tour from Australia!
Brother's wife and 6ish month old daughter!( yep, they about the same age ;)
Brother's parents in law!
Whillickers
There's a lot to do in the 12ish days i'll be home
Before I go back to Searcy, AR on the 28th
So I can go on tour with Theatron for 10 weeks
That's an acting/ drama ministry group from Harding University, if you didn't know
So when I title this post "Travel,"
Now you know why
Cause I will not be in one place more than 2 weeks this summer
With the exclusion of Uplift, Harding's summer camp, which lasts about 3 weeks
Still.
I be on the moooove
Call me the south wind
Cause I'll be moving all summer too ;)
That's all
Keep a joyous attitude this Summer!!
And please, if you've got any cray cray summer travel plans, leave a comment!
Always Hope, Love REGARDLESS, and Please, Peace Out
John
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