Chasing Cars

Has anyone heard the song Chasing Cars ?
Its pretty good.
It also carries a lot of memories with it, for me anyway.
In order to protect the innocent, at least from most of the dangers that could come with this, I'll use false names.
Now I've got your attention, don't I ;)
So this song used to be the "theme song" if you will, of me and the girl I had a crush on in 7th grade
I'll call her Doris.
And really, I don't think this would really hurt anyone, including her, I just didn't ask prior to telling.
Those that were close will know anyway.
But obviously, they were close.
So I thought I loved Doris.
I was 12.
I had just broken from the homeschool scene onto the private christian school scene and I was feeling rebellious.
My parents didn't allow us to date while we were living at home, but since I no longer stayed in my house all day, I saw an opportunity for rule beeeeending.
I was a little green, to say the least.
And I would say, 7th and 8th grade were my most rebellious because of my few "Illicit" and "Undergound" relationships.
Psh.
So anyway, Doris and I passed notes in class, in a secret language that we created.
Well, her and some other of our friends created it and I just used it in case our teacher got a hold of these amorous letters.
So, we held hands a total of 2 times I think? In youth group no less.
I know, you're thinking "This guy is out his mind!"
;)
I was new to it all, ok?
well, we made our own words to chasing cars, but we still enjoyed the original lyrics together.
I thought it would last forever.
But then I realized that a 12yr old's feelings change and one really shouldn't base one's future plans solely on feelings.
It just doesn't work out right.
So, I won't give myself any good rep about this, we kinda petered out and our friendship became rather strange.
That song also became a bit of a bad memory.
I didn't listen to it for a long time., because of that.
But recently, as much as a year ago, I heard it again and it reapplied to my life.
But with a different person.
:D
And this person deserves a whole blog to herself.
But I'll say a little here. Because otherwise, this blog would be pointless.
no plot.
She has ... Ahh.. such lovely hair.
And eyes the color of a stormy ocean. That may sound like they're icy.
But they're comforting.
You'd have to see them to know :P
But physical features, while not few in number, do not define this fine woman's wonderful nature
Don't get the impression that I think her an angel.
She has her share of shortcomings, the most painful to me of which is her willingness to go on dates with people other than me.
But they don't define her.
The thing that you should really know about McKenzie is that she is a fighter.
Her life has been sooo much rougher than mine.
And she may tell you otherwise, but it has affected her, in involuntary ways.
But the nuts thing is, she has realized some of those things and changed them, voluntarily
And some of the things are still in the works. And yes, some are still unknown
But the pros?
:)
Let me just try and describe them.
ya see, we have this mental connection that allows us to communicate in nonverbal ways and when we're together, it just magnifies everything.
She has such a passion for keeping people in a good state of mind and even though her relationship with God is exactly what she wishes it was, I've seen her help other struggling souls along the way.
Myself included.
Now to all my family members that may read this, I know you're either really dissapointed that I still feel so amorous towards McKenzie, vomiting at the thought, or maybe you might just be happy for me.
All I know is we're not gonna make any crazy decisions any time too soon.
And no, she DOESN'T get in the way of my friendship with God.
That roadblock would be myself not making time, not anyone else.
To all you other readers, I don't know if you took anything from this blog, but I would say this:
If you're a girl, try to meet her and take notes
If you're a boy, back off and mourn the fact that you'll never be with her
and in general, everyone, never go into a relationship with selfish ambitions.
And always, always, always, leave it in God's hands.
He's the ultimate matchmaker and He runs on a different time schedule than us.
Hard to swallow, I know.
Did I mention her huggability? McKenzie just fits right in my arms, something I sadly haven't experienced in a few monthes.
But it's ok.
Because "True love will always find a way and I will always come for you"
And I love McKenzie. Be it friends, be it collegues, be it brothers and sisters or be it spouses.
"If I lie here, if I just lie here, would you lie with me and just forget the world?"
                                                                                     Always Hope, Love Regardless, and Peace Out
P.S. If you readers would all pray that God reveals His plan to us, that would be so lovely of you :)