Wednesday, December 19, 2012
Rant
Pop Culture- What everyone thinks everyone else is talking about and so, in order to be cool themselves, talks about as well.
Movie stars. Bands. Headlines. Youtube videos. Fashion. Glasses. Mustaches. Boots. Balance Bracelets. Cars. Cell Phones. Hairstyles. Friend types. Stereotypes. Sports Teams.
Is it cool for me to like the Cowboys?
Well, maybe, if they're doing well and the majority of my friends don't scorn me when I bring them up.
If I am made fun of, I'll be sure to follow the Patriots real fast. Then pretend like I've always liked them. Just so 10 people will say "hey yeah, I like the patriots too" and not mean it themselves.
I don't want to offend anyone, but honestly, there are so many things that Americans do that they really never would have done unless one of their friends had said "everyone's doing it" or they had seen it in a magazine. You know who writes those magazines?
People who want money.
And often, when taunted with the lure of lots of money, people will do foolish things.
Even dangerous things.
Like write magazines full of immorality, sensation and lies, regardless of their corrosive and uncommon power to turn the "World's Greatest Superpower" into a country of lazy, selfish, uncommitted children. For the most part. I salute all those out there who have kept themselves untainted by this epidemic of skinny jeans and Starbucks. I, unfortunately but realistically am not one to be congratulated in the same way. But to everyone else, including myself, I say this: When did the opinions of hundreds of people we've barely or never met become more important than our own? When did buying coffee by the pound and brewing it at home for pennies a cup become uncool and old fashioned? I don't even really like coffee but I drink it because it's what everyone else at Harding is drinking. Do you think, if the cool, commonplace drink became a Bud Light among ALL Americans, that I would drink that too? I know it already is commonplace and cool, but there are still some regulations on it, for minors. In theory anyway. What I am trying to say is this: I have heard the rebuttal "my friends' opinions don't effect mine. I am my own person." too many times, without evidence, to believe it. Even for myself. No one is strong enough to completely ignore what everyone else is doing. No one that lives with other people. Why is it that community, the very thing that humans need to survive, has become the bane of this great land? I know that culture has always been something that people want to adhere to. To follow trends and to fit in is at the core of human existence. But I do not think that it has ever been to this degree. Our culture IS to fit in. It is to do just what everyone we "look up to" does. A culture where being cool is cool is built on nothing. No material thing matters, only the opinions of others. Back in the fifties, I would say it was cool to have a car. Because cars were new and innovative. But if someone couldn't afford a nice one, or one at all, they weren't laughed at. It was understood that maybe money was tight or that maybe they had more important things to spend money on. Sure, there was an "In" crowd. But there was also a "Sensible" crowd, who made up the majority. Take it back even further. In the Dark Ages, people were concerned with survival. Clothes were immaterial; as long as you had one pair, you were golden. The rich 1/2% were busy buying new fashions, trying new foods, going to parties and such. And the 99 1/2 were disgusted with them for their revelry. Do you know why? Because that 1/2% had lost sight of reality. They didn't know what it was like to LIVE anymore, only how to entertain. The "lower class" lived every day, working a field or a bellows and enjoying the feeling of having food on the table, friends in the house next to them and a family that at least tolerated them, if not loved them. And I am afraid that the 1/2% has become the 99 1/2 in America and the rest of the world is looking at us in disgust. I'm afraid that a lot of Americans looks at a lot of Americans in disgust.
Whatever.
No one is going to change.
And Why should they?
If I change, everyone else is going to think that I am weird. And push me out of their circle. And push their own thoughts of change away.
no.
Actually
A lot of people probably think that. That if I change, I will stick out.
What if everyone thought that?
What if everyone else was as fed up with our pseudo-culture?
What if EVERYONE, the Man, They, thought that our current way of doing everything was totally opposite from reality?
And what if everyone admitted it?
Where would we be?
Without a social life?
Maybe
Without a culture?
Doubtful
There will always be things that make a community of people unique, things that draw a town together on a Saturday afternoon.
Without friends?
Hopefully not, but if your friends bail because you decide to be different than the culture, were they friends?
Maybe, mutual acquaintances
Does any of this even ring any bells?
I am almost positive that someone is going to have a beef with what I have said and that they will discount my credibility because of it.
I am willing to sacrifice the opinions of a handful of people in order to exercise my right to free speech
;)
America was built because the Pilgrims didn't like being told how to worship by the Church of England.
America can be rebuilt by anyone who doesn't want to be told how to have fun by a small number of reporters, actors and corporate heads.
Sound cool?
You tell me :P
Peace, John H.
P.S. I know this blog is long and probably offensive to lots of people, so if either of those things apply to you, dear reader, thanks for making it this far :) And please, comment with any solutions you may have to our current Sietz in Lieben
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
Rain Poems
Little drop, oh little drop
From where is it you've come?
Sky is endless, oh so endless
Where was your first home?
Windblown raindrop, blown so far
Life that is not yours
Coming down to kiss her, kiss her
Then away to foreign shores
______________________
Wreathed in darkness, the land lies dozing
Breathing in the starlit air
Plants lie dormant, ever peaceful
Growing full, no fears, no cares
Angels watch the whole creation
Rolling through the galaxy
Crickets keeping time with laughter
Swelling with the melody
Sun breaks through the darkness bringing
Us a brand new, shining day
Hope of morrow, helps us onward
Towards the things we cannot say
Rain breaks on, the window pains
Longing to be warm
Wind drives through the weather vane
And makes us glad for home
From where is it you've come?
Sky is endless, oh so endless
Where was your first home?
Windblown raindrop, blown so far
Life that is not yours
Coming down to kiss her, kiss her
Then away to foreign shores
______________________
Wreathed in darkness, the land lies dozing
Breathing in the starlit air
Plants lie dormant, ever peaceful
Growing full, no fears, no cares
Angels watch the whole creation
Rolling through the galaxy
Crickets keeping time with laughter
Swelling with the melody
Sun breaks through the darkness bringing
Us a brand new, shining day
Hope of morrow, helps us onward
Towards the things we cannot say
Rain breaks on, the window pains
Longing to be warm
Wind drives through the weather vane
And makes us glad for home
Saturday, November 17, 2012
Environment
Sometimes you just get hit with a feeling of thankfulness.
and yeah, it is the Thanksgiving time of the year, but this is very slightly tied to that fact
I am just sitting here in my sister and brother in law's house, in Grand Rapids, MI
And I feel like appreciating some of my dear friends.
I'm in Michigan peeps.
How nuts is that?
at this time yesterday, I was in my dorm at Harding University taking the wheels off of my longboard
And look at me now.
less than 24 hours later actually.
But I was reading my bro's journal on Facebook
Grant, if you read this, you have a talent.
Even if you're not, whoever is reading this that knows Grant should encourage him to pursue writing
It fits him.
He even inspired me to write this blog :)
But while I was thinking about him, I thought about my other friends back in good ol' York, NE
And I realized that they each have a wonderful, God-given aptitude.
Grant, like I mentioned, has a way with expressing himself in such an eloquent manner.
Avery is a great leader and I know he wouldn't agree, but he is the best kind of leader
The kind that doesn't necessarily like or enjoy leading, but does it anyway.
I commend you sir.
Charlie is just that happy guy, ya know? He just is a joy to be around, brings the spark to the brush-pile.
And he has been that for me for most of my life.
Thanks man :)
Dale, Delaney, you are the relationship queen. You are connected with so many different circles, so involved it's not even funny.
And each person that you cultivate a friendship with feels special, you give them time.
And that is SO needed in our culture.
And in my life :)
Cassie Sikes. What to say.
A better leader in the youth group that I ever even tried to be, a spiritual pillar and heck, just an all around funny lady.
Also a joy to be around. :)
So random :O
Christian, the chill man. The Chillest Man Ever.
You should see what has tried to ruffle his feathers before
You should have seen those same events fail miserably
He has this aura about him, if you will, this bubble that humans can't seem to pop.
And he has a purpose in life. He has heard God calling and he has answered Him, no exceptions.
So much promise in this man.
Alyssa, I would say what a man, but that's rather rude.
But then again, I know you would probably just punch me with that silly grin ;)
So I know it'd be ok.
Tyler.
Epic.
I could end with that, but I think I always end with that and he deserves more than that.
He lives in a world other people only wish they could enter into
A world where everything has meaning, everything that is worth following through, gets followed through.
And I respect that so much.
Colton, I'm so glad you returned to us. :)
Our family was missing that something that you bring.
you are the catalyst that fuels Charlie's spark, I feel like.
You just know how to have a good, clean, fun time.
So hospitable.
These people, though all seniors now
In high school
Were my pals
Are my pals
And they will all be there when I go back.
You all are a major draw to the little town of York
And now I have laid you all out, everyone who reads this will want to come and visit our lovely family.
The sun is going down and the lights are starting to pop on in the houses around.
My nose tip feels chilly and my sisters start making dinner in the kitchen
I'm listening to Drew Holcomb and the Neighbors, a really good band that I recently discovered
And it looks likes this Thanksgiving break will shape up to be a lovely time of family, food, and relaxation.
And it's all because of my wonderful, warm and real environment.
Peace out. JH
P.S. If anyone that I mentioned in this blog reads it, would you share it with everyone else? Cause I know Avery doesn't have a Facebook anymore ;) Thanks.
A really good song that I think you all would like
and yeah, it is the Thanksgiving time of the year, but this is very slightly tied to that fact
I am just sitting here in my sister and brother in law's house, in Grand Rapids, MI
And I feel like appreciating some of my dear friends.
I'm in Michigan peeps.
How nuts is that?
at this time yesterday, I was in my dorm at Harding University taking the wheels off of my longboard
And look at me now.
less than 24 hours later actually.
But I was reading my bro's journal on Facebook
Grant, if you read this, you have a talent.
Even if you're not, whoever is reading this that knows Grant should encourage him to pursue writing
It fits him.
He even inspired me to write this blog :)
But while I was thinking about him, I thought about my other friends back in good ol' York, NE
And I realized that they each have a wonderful, God-given aptitude.
Grant, like I mentioned, has a way with expressing himself in such an eloquent manner.
Avery is a great leader and I know he wouldn't agree, but he is the best kind of leader
The kind that doesn't necessarily like or enjoy leading, but does it anyway.
I commend you sir.
Charlie is just that happy guy, ya know? He just is a joy to be around, brings the spark to the brush-pile.
And he has been that for me for most of my life.
Thanks man :)
Dale, Delaney, you are the relationship queen. You are connected with so many different circles, so involved it's not even funny.
And each person that you cultivate a friendship with feels special, you give them time.
And that is SO needed in our culture.
And in my life :)
Cassie Sikes. What to say.
A better leader in the youth group that I ever even tried to be, a spiritual pillar and heck, just an all around funny lady.
Also a joy to be around. :)
So random :O
Christian, the chill man. The Chillest Man Ever.
You should see what has tried to ruffle his feathers before
You should have seen those same events fail miserably
He has this aura about him, if you will, this bubble that humans can't seem to pop.
And he has a purpose in life. He has heard God calling and he has answered Him, no exceptions.
So much promise in this man.
Alyssa, I would say what a man, but that's rather rude.
But then again, I know you would probably just punch me with that silly grin ;)
So I know it'd be ok.
Tyler.
Epic.
I could end with that, but I think I always end with that and he deserves more than that.
He lives in a world other people only wish they could enter into
A world where everything has meaning, everything that is worth following through, gets followed through.
And I respect that so much.
Colton, I'm so glad you returned to us. :)
Our family was missing that something that you bring.
you are the catalyst that fuels Charlie's spark, I feel like.
You just know how to have a good, clean, fun time.
So hospitable.
These people, though all seniors now
In high school
Were my pals
Are my pals
And they will all be there when I go back.
You all are a major draw to the little town of York
And now I have laid you all out, everyone who reads this will want to come and visit our lovely family.
The sun is going down and the lights are starting to pop on in the houses around.
My nose tip feels chilly and my sisters start making dinner in the kitchen
I'm listening to Drew Holcomb and the Neighbors, a really good band that I recently discovered
And it looks likes this Thanksgiving break will shape up to be a lovely time of family, food, and relaxation.
And it's all because of my wonderful, warm and real environment.
Peace out. JH
P.S. If anyone that I mentioned in this blog reads it, would you share it with everyone else? Cause I know Avery doesn't have a Facebook anymore ;) Thanks.
A really good song that I think you all would like
Monday, November 12, 2012
Giant
There's only one moment when things seem real big
When monsters are hiding out under our bed
Then once that time passes, we realize instead
That many things frightning are inside our head
The sun reaches apex, alone in the sky
It seems to me, so tiny, as I pass it by
But really its giant, and no one knows why
Accept it else realize, your life is a lie
Keep it real Ya'll - J.Hoehn
When monsters are hiding out under our bed
Then once that time passes, we realize instead
That many things frightning are inside our head
The sun reaches apex, alone in the sky
It seems to me, so tiny, as I pass it by
But really its giant, and no one knows why
Accept it else realize, your life is a lie
Keep it real Ya'll - J.Hoehn
Friday, November 2, 2012
Pure
I am just so fascinated by babies
I got the immense pleasure of holding one this evening and man, they just have a way with ya
Ya know?
If you've ever held a baby, you've experienced something as near to perfection as can still exist in this broken world
And that is just so Eye opening
Literal and figurative
When you have that little helpless poop machine in your arms, you can't close your eyes, you've just got to take in every moment
But seriously though, you never want to look away from that flawless face
That new creation
That potential incarnate
It transcends normal life
The mind's eye is also opened when in the presence of a baby
Seeing that life, so new, expanding and growing to become a wonderful adult
It blows the mind
How developed a child can be when they are so young
God is so intricate
If you have ever held one, you know
If you've ever HAD one, I don't know what to say to you
well done?
Moving on
I just thought I should share this love of infantile beings with all y'all
:)
Have a good day!
Hold a babbie if you get the chance
Always Hope, Love Regardless, and Peace Out
p.s. if you haven't held a baby, you need to get on that. Also, what is your favorite thing to do?
I got the immense pleasure of holding one this evening and man, they just have a way with ya
Ya know?
If you've ever held a baby, you've experienced something as near to perfection as can still exist in this broken world
And that is just so Eye opening
Literal and figurative
When you have that little helpless poop machine in your arms, you can't close your eyes, you've just got to take in every moment
But seriously though, you never want to look away from that flawless face
That new creation
That potential incarnate
It transcends normal life
The mind's eye is also opened when in the presence of a baby
Seeing that life, so new, expanding and growing to become a wonderful adult
It blows the mind
How developed a child can be when they are so young
God is so intricate
If you have ever held one, you know
If you've ever HAD one, I don't know what to say to you
well done?
Moving on
I just thought I should share this love of infantile beings with all y'all
:)
Have a good day!
Hold a babbie if you get the chance
Always Hope, Love Regardless, and Peace Out
p.s. if you haven't held a baby, you need to get on that. Also, what is your favorite thing to do?
Sunday, October 28, 2012
Spectacle
Being a follower of Christ is such a counter cultural "thing"
I don't know who you are, Dear Reader, so I cannot assume that you believe in God or in what Christianity should be.
I don't think I believe in Christianity as it stands right now
At least, I don't believe in the mechanization, the industrialization of "church"
That being said.
I definitely believe in God
I cannot imagine even a cell, a single living cell, just coming about
Out of nothing
Nothing cannot create anything
What would "it" use as materials?
What would "it" be?
No, I believe there is a Creator
And that if He took the "time" to create things as beautiful as an orchid in bloom or a new baby
A waterfall or a clown fish
Just even a junebug
I know they aren't really that cute,
But what makes them want light?
Don't take that as a metaphor as junebugs seeking God's face
Just, what makes them "want" anything?
I would say, it's a God
And if He took the time to create all this AND to work among it
I am just drawn to listening to what He has to say
And agreeing with it
That's silly ;)
It doesn't matter if I agree with DAD, if He knows enough to give life, which is unexplainable to us, I find it necessary to do what He says
He just has the "blueprints" if you will
He knows what a life is supposed to look like because He "sat down" and hashed it out while He was creating life itself
If I make a cake, I know everything that went into it
If the cake were sentient, all it would know is that it exists and probably that it tastes good
Maybe even that it's purpose is to bring happiness to it's eaters
But will it ever know what makes it "it"?
Will it, when seeing the heat of an oven, shy away from a very important component of it's creation?
I know, we are rather different from cakes
But when we see some of the things that make us "us," are we afraid of them?
I'm not a hundred percent what I am trying to get across, I stayed up pretty late last night and this whole weekend has been very full with busyness
But know this
IF you believe that God has a handle on making things right, maybe you could take a few pointers from Him
Maybe, if you believe that He is as powerful as He seems, you ought to live like He says
Not because He may smite you if you don't
But because His way is best
You tell me a version of living, a way of life that makes more sense, a lifestyle that brings as much
Purpose, Fulfillment, Joy, Peace, Love....
That is better than the one prescribed by Jesus in the gospels, and I'll give you whatever you want
My words may sound like empty threats
But they aren't
IDK
I feel like I've heard people say stuff like this before and I skimmed it and said
"yeah, thats true.... I wonder what videos are trending on YouTube right now..."
It isn't easy to look at your life and realize that maybe it's not yours
Whatever you believe in
Whatever you think about this post
Whatever you try to adhere to in life, whatever doctrine
You better make sure you believe is wholeheartedly
And that, if it is truly as "good" or a life changing you believe it to be, you share it with everyone who doesn't know about it.
Be a spectacle
I would say
Open your eyes to your surroundings
Your physical and mental ones
And you will see what is truly there
Which I believe to be God
Always Hope, Love Regardless, and Peace Out
P.S. The reason I was so adamant about you proclaiming your belief system to everyone is that I believe you to be a sentient human, capable of seeing what is "there." And I believe that God is there.
Everywhere
I don't know who you are, Dear Reader, so I cannot assume that you believe in God or in what Christianity should be.
I don't think I believe in Christianity as it stands right now
At least, I don't believe in the mechanization, the industrialization of "church"
That being said.
I definitely believe in God
I cannot imagine even a cell, a single living cell, just coming about
Out of nothing
Nothing cannot create anything
What would "it" use as materials?
What would "it" be?
No, I believe there is a Creator
And that if He took the "time" to create things as beautiful as an orchid in bloom or a new baby
A waterfall or a clown fish
Just even a junebug
I know they aren't really that cute,
But what makes them want light?
Don't take that as a metaphor as junebugs seeking God's face
Just, what makes them "want" anything?
I would say, it's a God
And if He took the time to create all this AND to work among it
I am just drawn to listening to what He has to say
And agreeing with it
That's silly ;)
It doesn't matter if I agree with DAD, if He knows enough to give life, which is unexplainable to us, I find it necessary to do what He says
He just has the "blueprints" if you will
He knows what a life is supposed to look like because He "sat down" and hashed it out while He was creating life itself
If I make a cake, I know everything that went into it
If the cake were sentient, all it would know is that it exists and probably that it tastes good
Maybe even that it's purpose is to bring happiness to it's eaters
But will it ever know what makes it "it"?
Will it, when seeing the heat of an oven, shy away from a very important component of it's creation?
I know, we are rather different from cakes
But when we see some of the things that make us "us," are we afraid of them?
I'm not a hundred percent what I am trying to get across, I stayed up pretty late last night and this whole weekend has been very full with busyness
But know this
IF you believe that God has a handle on making things right, maybe you could take a few pointers from Him
Maybe, if you believe that He is as powerful as He seems, you ought to live like He says
Not because He may smite you if you don't
But because His way is best
You tell me a version of living, a way of life that makes more sense, a lifestyle that brings as much
Purpose, Fulfillment, Joy, Peace, Love....
That is better than the one prescribed by Jesus in the gospels, and I'll give you whatever you want
My words may sound like empty threats
But they aren't
IDK
I feel like I've heard people say stuff like this before and I skimmed it and said
"yeah, thats true.... I wonder what videos are trending on YouTube right now..."
It isn't easy to look at your life and realize that maybe it's not yours
Whatever you believe in
Whatever you think about this post
Whatever you try to adhere to in life, whatever doctrine
You better make sure you believe is wholeheartedly
And that, if it is truly as "good" or a life changing you believe it to be, you share it with everyone who doesn't know about it.
Be a spectacle
I would say
Open your eyes to your surroundings
Your physical and mental ones
And you will see what is truly there
Which I believe to be God
Always Hope, Love Regardless, and Peace Out
P.S. The reason I was so adamant about you proclaiming your belief system to everyone is that I believe you to be a sentient human, capable of seeing what is "there." And I believe that God is there.
Everywhere
Friday, October 19, 2012
Holy One
When I walk in the darkness
you bring forth the light
And I see that there's hope at the end
As I cry through the hardships
you set all things right
And My heart, to your will, you do bend
You keep me and guide me
when none else are beside me
You show me the way toward the gate
My mind sees the broken
the sick and unspoken
With these hands, I will change that fate
When they come for me, stop them
Create me a hedge
Surround me with your loving power
If I'm sinking down, save me
Give rest to my head
Help me survive through each hour
Your peace all consumes me
You mind reaches through me
I'm lost in your infinite love
I feel as though nothing could ever get to me
Your hands and your heart are enough
When I'm tired and sore
And I shut all your doors
You show me the key to new locks
Never getting frustrated
when your words I have hated
You send me a person to talk
Saved me, displayed me
for lovers to see
For help to be always at hand
Your strength will uphold me
And your mighty arm shield me
And keep me till comes the worlds end
And beyond
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Peace
I said I would write a blog about peace, didn't I?
And now I'm coming through
Look at that, making good on my promises and everything.
Lovely :)
I wanted to bring up the discussion of Peace because it seems very fundamental to sanity, joy, hope, open mindedness, relationships, and so many more aspects of life.
Love, it deals with love too.
I think we should define Peace before we discuss it
cause yes, we are having a discussion here ;)
You are a big part of this blog, without you it would just be an online diary
So, Peace
The definition on Dictionary.com mostly deals with countries not at war or a command for someone to be quiet
Like Jesus speaking to the wind and waves ;)
Or a greeting
But that's not what I'm trying to get across here
Not at all
I want to talk about peace in the heart, peace of mind
The Bible talks of peace like it is a state of mind, a gift from God for His children
It also seems to make it out to be an action
And I definitely agree
Look at that, I agree with the Bible :)
Like always ;)
I want to give a bit of a "real life experience" here though, just to make it more real
Cause nobody likes a fictional life story where one only speculates about change
So, I'll tell ya
It just seems as though recently, whenever I start to get mad or frustrated or fed up or apathetic, I have started to be able to counteract those feelings before they come to fruition
To full bloom ;)
And my only explanation is that I am at peace with life and I can see things from a different place than I used to
You may say "That's not peace, that's homeostasis"
Well, yeah
Peace is kind of a balancing factor, it helps keep everything in perspective
When some maddening event presents itself, my inner peace realizes that, 9 times out of 10, it's just something stupid or something I cannot change
So I stop worrying about it
Or I start to lose hope in myself, in the fact that I CAN get out of bed in the morning and go to 5 classes
And then my peace reminds me that that is what I am here for and my bed is not my final destination
Many would say "According to Freud, that is called your ego, the part of your consciousness that regulates your impulses and your convictions."
True
Some would say that
But hey, what if Freud was just giving a name to Peace?
Maybe Freud was wrong ;)
Who knows
All you now know from this blog is my view of what Peace is, at least how it has so far manifested itself in my life
And I think the closer we get to God, the more peace will settle onto us and we will be able to shut out the world
The distractions, both good and bad
That's all
I've gotta study for an Environmental Science test which I have tomorrow
So I'm gonna peace out
;)
Always Hope, Love Regardless, and Peace Out
P.S. if you read this blog, you should comment with a tattoo idea for me and where I should get it. I know I have SOME readers cause last time I checked, I had 750+ pageviews on here. Thanks!
And now I'm coming through
Look at that, making good on my promises and everything.
Lovely :)
I wanted to bring up the discussion of Peace because it seems very fundamental to sanity, joy, hope, open mindedness, relationships, and so many more aspects of life.
Love, it deals with love too.
I think we should define Peace before we discuss it
cause yes, we are having a discussion here ;)
You are a big part of this blog, without you it would just be an online diary
So, Peace
The definition on Dictionary.com mostly deals with countries not at war or a command for someone to be quiet
Like Jesus speaking to the wind and waves ;)
Or a greeting
But that's not what I'm trying to get across here
Not at all
I want to talk about peace in the heart, peace of mind
The Bible talks of peace like it is a state of mind, a gift from God for His children
It also seems to make it out to be an action
And I definitely agree
Look at that, I agree with the Bible :)
Like always ;)
I want to give a bit of a "real life experience" here though, just to make it more real
Cause nobody likes a fictional life story where one only speculates about change
So, I'll tell ya
It just seems as though recently, whenever I start to get mad or frustrated or fed up or apathetic, I have started to be able to counteract those feelings before they come to fruition
To full bloom ;)
And my only explanation is that I am at peace with life and I can see things from a different place than I used to
You may say "That's not peace, that's homeostasis"
Well, yeah
Peace is kind of a balancing factor, it helps keep everything in perspective
When some maddening event presents itself, my inner peace realizes that, 9 times out of 10, it's just something stupid or something I cannot change
So I stop worrying about it
Or I start to lose hope in myself, in the fact that I CAN get out of bed in the morning and go to 5 classes
And then my peace reminds me that that is what I am here for and my bed is not my final destination
Many would say "According to Freud, that is called your ego, the part of your consciousness that regulates your impulses and your convictions."
True
Some would say that
But hey, what if Freud was just giving a name to Peace?
Maybe Freud was wrong ;)
Who knows
All you now know from this blog is my view of what Peace is, at least how it has so far manifested itself in my life
And I think the closer we get to God, the more peace will settle onto us and we will be able to shut out the world
The distractions, both good and bad
That's all
I've gotta study for an Environmental Science test which I have tomorrow
So I'm gonna peace out
;)
Always Hope, Love Regardless, and Peace Out
P.S. if you read this blog, you should comment with a tattoo idea for me and where I should get it. I know I have SOME readers cause last time I checked, I had 750+ pageviews on here. Thanks!
Monday, October 8, 2012
Jambalaya
My soul is just a shell, of what it used to be
I'm sure that you can tell, there used to be more of me
I'm sinking in a swell, the ocean's cold is numbing
I lost it, may as well, have jumped right in it completely
I'd dig through this dark hill, if light were all around me
Ever since I blew it out, there's nothing there to guide me
I'd kill off these dark spells, if they were not so frightning
I'll give to you my will, to rest my cold dead body
You keep all to yourself, alone you suffer needlessly
You build up walls of brick and stone, with words devoid of mercy
To find a cure is to be sure of wanting a solution
The answer's out there, waiting, sleeping, ready for a question
Keep your mind in a pure state, keep your fingers crossed
Hold on, with your fingertips, to the things you love the most
A time for killing, time for joy, a time for love, for pain
A time to gather, time to weep, and time for me to say
I've been there, what you're slogging through, I've lived a lie, insane
But not by mine, nor yours, not ours, is Love given a name
Sap drips freely, this I know, my words are lemon and blood
Without this hope I cling to, though, my life would be no good
Life is fleeting, catch it's tail, its passing by us all
The light of our salvation, comes at the curtain call
Believe or not in the Father's good, it matters not to us
Just be there when the lightning strikes and satan's banners fall
My heart is hard to tell, is it broken, torn, or mending?
My brain broke, tripped and fell, but messages still sending
My ligaments are raw and smell, that's my cake's red icing
My soul, however, alive and well, will keep this human ticking.
Don't let the dark beginning getchya, it gets better :)
Hope is always alive.
Pass it on
Sunday, September 30, 2012
Keep
It's not the pain that makes the game, nor is it the score
There's not enough of an "umph," to make me give much more
I don't think that you know, just what it is I mean
I live by day and sleep by night, and God, my soul, does keep
A heart that beats is nice and all, it makes us who we are
But take one sec and look around, and find out who YOU are
Are you the one who swings the seas and sets the moon and stars?
Or have you only one small thing, to bring, to give, in full, your heart
This verse would sound so bad in song, so sing it please do not
But spoken word, who knows, could be, a cuddly, lovely, lot
The Man upstairs is not, in fact, all cuddly, all that much
But fair He is, "I AM" the one, the only one who's just
Keepin it real is all I do, T-Rex, it's all for you
I'm reppin the peeps, without a doubt, who like to not wear shoes
You think that this po'm has come derailed, you're wrong, just let it be
For none, in all my few long years, have dared to challenged me
(that is a false statement, I get challenged all the time)
There's not enough of an "umph," to make me give much more
I don't think that you know, just what it is I mean
I live by day and sleep by night, and God, my soul, does keep
A heart that beats is nice and all, it makes us who we are
But take one sec and look around, and find out who YOU are
Are you the one who swings the seas and sets the moon and stars?
Or have you only one small thing, to bring, to give, in full, your heart
This verse would sound so bad in song, so sing it please do not
But spoken word, who knows, could be, a cuddly, lovely, lot
The Man upstairs is not, in fact, all cuddly, all that much
But fair He is, "I AM" the one, the only one who's just
Keepin it real is all I do, T-Rex, it's all for you
I'm reppin the peeps, without a doubt, who like to not wear shoes
You think that this po'm has come derailed, you're wrong, just let it be
For none, in all my few long years, have dared to challenged me
(that is a false statement, I get challenged all the time)
Monday, September 24, 2012
Letters
What's in a letter?
Like, a mailed letter.
Was there ever a protocol for the layout of letters?
Were there things that one "didn't say"?
I'm sure there were!!
But we've lost those things, haven't we?
This is a lot of questions, isn't it?
Have we forgotten how to produce something that used to be an integral part of long distance communication between lovers, friends, and families?
I think, sadly, we now have a very watered down, meager version of what were once beautiful masterpieces.
Not to dis my cousin, but I was writing one the other day and he said "Are you really doing snail-mail?"
Yes.
But that's the reaction that I'm sure would be prevalent in most people 30yrs and younger.
That's definitely a stat I just made up.
But really, can you not see it too?
Now, being a college student, I finally understand the rapturous joy of getting something in the mail.
I didn't used to get much mail and I didn't used to care.
But now, when most of my loved ones live in a different state, a letter is the closest thing to a real conversation with them.
You can try to prove to me that Skype or FB Chat is sufficient, and waaaay more expedient, and free.
I'll not buy it.
If you have ever received a letter, a real, bonafide, handwritten letter, you know what I mean.
Nothing virtual can come close.
In a letter, you can hear the person's voice actually speaking through the words on the page, and you know it's them.
On Skype, you hear a recording of their voice and a terribly pixelated version of their face.
Now don't get me wrong, I love Skyping with my loved ones, it really is great.
But a letter.
Mmmmmmmm
That's where it's at my friends
That is where its at.
So I challenge you to write a letter to someone close to you, in a different country, state, city, or even dorm.
And pretend that you're just sitting there telling them a story, face to face.
Tell them something you wish you always had the guts to say in real life, or say something important that you always forget to say when you see them.
Cause lemme tell ya, if your recipient is a college student, even if your letter says things they might not want to hear, they will probly jump up and down at least twice in celebration upon receiving your letter.
No Joke.
Just try it and wait for the return letter.
I won't go into the joys, the absolute raptures, of getting a package in this blog.
But that is also a good way to brighten a dreary Monday morning.
To color a dull gray mailbox.
:)
Now, I've got to go and finish writing some letters :)
Always Hope, Love Regardless and Peace Out
P.S. This is not a rant about me wanting a letter, but if it moves you to write one, my address is as follows:
John Hoehn
HU 11361
915 E. Market Ave.
Searcy, AR 72149
(postage is only like 44 cents yall, you can do it, for anyone you can think of)
Like, a mailed letter.
Was there ever a protocol for the layout of letters?
Were there things that one "didn't say"?
I'm sure there were!!
But we've lost those things, haven't we?
This is a lot of questions, isn't it?
Have we forgotten how to produce something that used to be an integral part of long distance communication between lovers, friends, and families?
I think, sadly, we now have a very watered down, meager version of what were once beautiful masterpieces.
Not to dis my cousin, but I was writing one the other day and he said "Are you really doing snail-mail?"
Yes.
But that's the reaction that I'm sure would be prevalent in most people 30yrs and younger.
That's definitely a stat I just made up.
But really, can you not see it too?
Now, being a college student, I finally understand the rapturous joy of getting something in the mail.
I didn't used to get much mail and I didn't used to care.
But now, when most of my loved ones live in a different state, a letter is the closest thing to a real conversation with them.
You can try to prove to me that Skype or FB Chat is sufficient, and waaaay more expedient, and free.
I'll not buy it.
If you have ever received a letter, a real, bonafide, handwritten letter, you know what I mean.
Nothing virtual can come close.
In a letter, you can hear the person's voice actually speaking through the words on the page, and you know it's them.
On Skype, you hear a recording of their voice and a terribly pixelated version of their face.
Now don't get me wrong, I love Skyping with my loved ones, it really is great.
But a letter.
Mmmmmmmm
That's where it's at my friends
That is where its at.
So I challenge you to write a letter to someone close to you, in a different country, state, city, or even dorm.
And pretend that you're just sitting there telling them a story, face to face.
Tell them something you wish you always had the guts to say in real life, or say something important that you always forget to say when you see them.
Cause lemme tell ya, if your recipient is a college student, even if your letter says things they might not want to hear, they will probly jump up and down at least twice in celebration upon receiving your letter.
No Joke.
Just try it and wait for the return letter.
I won't go into the joys, the absolute raptures, of getting a package in this blog.
But that is also a good way to brighten a dreary Monday morning.
To color a dull gray mailbox.
:)
Now, I've got to go and finish writing some letters :)
Always Hope, Love Regardless and Peace Out
P.S. This is not a rant about me wanting a letter, but if it moves you to write one, my address is as follows:
John Hoehn
HU 11361
915 E. Market Ave.
Searcy, AR 72149
(postage is only like 44 cents yall, you can do it, for anyone you can think of)
Friday, September 14, 2012
Beauty
I want you to see, with the eyes of a free man, the wonderful things that surround you
For often we're blind, and don't comprehend, the beauty of things that ring true
True beauty is double, defined by itself, confined to no one human's view
But all can perceive it, enjoy and create it, when feelings, to beauty, are moved.
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
Scroll on....
I have, just know, come across something that I cannot ignore anymore.
Now, I know that of course you have done this, but has anyone ever felt really strongly about something and then kinda let is slip by?
I know that sounds sick.
But I think it's a pretty wide spread disease of our current culture.
And of my current generation.
Then again, doesn't everyone always say we're the "movers and shakers," the kids who will change what they don't like?
Ha.
I'm not here to bash, I'm here to observe and report.
I think the reason for our complacency is also the thing that will carry our memory through history:
The Internet
And this has come to the fore of my mind because it struck me a few minutes ago how easy it is to forget things in our era. This has been revealed to me through the quick come and go, the page surfing, the scrolling, the Home Page browsing.
We see some nuts post on Facebook like "I've just been feeling really down today and I just don't know what I am here for"
Then we either LIKE it?!?! or we comment and say "Hey friend, everything will be ok, I still love you anyway :)"
and while that might be a teensy bit helpful, it really doesn't do much
Now does it?
And the third thing we seem to do is just scroll on, till we find a post that makes us laugh, then we like, comment and move on.
Really?
I do it all the time, so yes really.
I just think its ridiculous.
Which brings me back to my first thought, becoming complacent even about things we feel strongly about.
I have felt "strongly" about the shallowness that Facebook and social media is producing in us.
What have I done?
I have fallen victim to the very thing which I sought to condemn.
So I thought I would do something about it.
Blogging really gets to the heart of the matter, Don't it?
Nah.
ahhh, but honestly the reason I decided to write this is because I saw a post by someone that actually cause me to STOP scrolling!
And we all know, that's hard to do.
Someone posting a link to a missing persons website.
And the picture on it was a little baby, 3 years old, who was abducted.
And the post said something like "praying for a safe return of this child"
I almost scrolled right on, right along with everyone else.
Then I realized, if and since prayer works, we could actually help find this kid
And gee whillickers, a 3 year old got ABDUCTED
Shouldn't that make us stop and say a prayer for his safety?
Shouldn't that makes us stop and realize how depraved our world has come, when babies are the target of crimes?
Shouldn't we want a change?
Welp, we've got more scrolling to do, but it was cool to see that someone cares :)
I was just struck with the sadness of it. A new creation in the world being traumatized, who knows where, away from his family.
And it's 9/11
I saw a FB post like so "When you think about it, 9/11 was kinda hilarious"
What?
It was a little kid hacking his sister's account cause he was mad at her and he wanted everyone on facebook to get mad at her.
That is what the Internet is doing to us yall, its killing our morals.
It's making us feel as though, by liking a Jesus page, we are better Christians for it.
Via the Internet, we are doubling all the information in the world every two years.
And do we understand half of it?
Do we understand the power that we hold in the palm of our hand, in a computer that's so portable yet so powerful?
Or do we scroll on.
I really don't WANT to make you feel bad about being on Facebook, Tumblr, Twitter, or Pinterest.
But I think you should
I think you should realize that social media are selfish media.
I think instead of liking a depressing post you could call your so called "friend" and ask them whats going down.
How much time could you spend doing worthwhile things instead of liking comments?
Like actually learning the information that has been produced.
Cause honestly, The Internet is a lovely tool. And Facebook and co are super great if you miss someone across the world and you have no other contact with them. Or like above mentioned example, you could find out about someone's bad day and then go talk to them about it.
But no.
It's only fair
It's only right that we should
Scroll on
Always Hope, Love Regardless and Peace out
P.S. I really hope a biggoted voice did not come out in this blog, I just wanted to explore this thought more. Please comment if you think different
;) or just scroll on
Now, I know that of course you have done this, but has anyone ever felt really strongly about something and then kinda let is slip by?
I know that sounds sick.
But I think it's a pretty wide spread disease of our current culture.
And of my current generation.
Then again, doesn't everyone always say we're the "movers and shakers," the kids who will change what they don't like?
Ha.
I'm not here to bash, I'm here to observe and report.
I think the reason for our complacency is also the thing that will carry our memory through history:
The Internet
And this has come to the fore of my mind because it struck me a few minutes ago how easy it is to forget things in our era. This has been revealed to me through the quick come and go, the page surfing, the scrolling, the Home Page browsing.
We see some nuts post on Facebook like "I've just been feeling really down today and I just don't know what I am here for"
Then we either LIKE it?!?! or we comment and say "Hey friend, everything will be ok, I still love you anyway :)"
and while that might be a teensy bit helpful, it really doesn't do much
Now does it?
And the third thing we seem to do is just scroll on, till we find a post that makes us laugh, then we like, comment and move on.
Really?
I do it all the time, so yes really.
I just think its ridiculous.
Which brings me back to my first thought, becoming complacent even about things we feel strongly about.
I have felt "strongly" about the shallowness that Facebook and social media is producing in us.
What have I done?
I have fallen victim to the very thing which I sought to condemn.
So I thought I would do something about it.
Blogging really gets to the heart of the matter, Don't it?
Nah.
ahhh, but honestly the reason I decided to write this is because I saw a post by someone that actually cause me to STOP scrolling!
And we all know, that's hard to do.
Someone posting a link to a missing persons website.
And the picture on it was a little baby, 3 years old, who was abducted.
And the post said something like "praying for a safe return of this child"
I almost scrolled right on, right along with everyone else.
Then I realized, if and since prayer works, we could actually help find this kid
And gee whillickers, a 3 year old got ABDUCTED
Shouldn't that make us stop and say a prayer for his safety?
Shouldn't that makes us stop and realize how depraved our world has come, when babies are the target of crimes?
Shouldn't we want a change?
Welp, we've got more scrolling to do, but it was cool to see that someone cares :)
I was just struck with the sadness of it. A new creation in the world being traumatized, who knows where, away from his family.
And it's 9/11
I saw a FB post like so "When you think about it, 9/11 was kinda hilarious"
What?
It was a little kid hacking his sister's account cause he was mad at her and he wanted everyone on facebook to get mad at her.
That is what the Internet is doing to us yall, its killing our morals.
It's making us feel as though, by liking a Jesus page, we are better Christians for it.
Via the Internet, we are doubling all the information in the world every two years.
And do we understand half of it?
Do we understand the power that we hold in the palm of our hand, in a computer that's so portable yet so powerful?
Or do we scroll on.
I really don't WANT to make you feel bad about being on Facebook, Tumblr, Twitter, or Pinterest.
But I think you should
I think you should realize that social media are selfish media.
I think instead of liking a depressing post you could call your so called "friend" and ask them whats going down.
How much time could you spend doing worthwhile things instead of liking comments?
Like actually learning the information that has been produced.
Cause honestly, The Internet is a lovely tool. And Facebook and co are super great if you miss someone across the world and you have no other contact with them. Or like above mentioned example, you could find out about someone's bad day and then go talk to them about it.
But no.
It's only fair
It's only right that we should
Scroll on
Always Hope, Love Regardless and Peace out
P.S. I really hope a biggoted voice did not come out in this blog, I just wanted to explore this thought more. Please comment if you think different
;) or just scroll on
Monday, September 10, 2012
From Karlie
I'm
sitting here in Starbucks, studying, listening to my chilltime playlist,
breathing. Maybe the music moves me, maybe it's exhaustion, maybe it's unstable
female hormones, maybe it's completely right. But as the music builds and as
the homework becomes more and more repulsive, and as unique and beautiful
people filter in and out with the steadiness of a stream, my heart starts to
ache and long for something unknown, and my eyes start wander. My body feels
like crying, and my soul feels like running into the sky. I don't know what I'm
supposed to feel like, but I think all the things I invest in distract me from
whatever that is. It's deep and its rushing and its terrifying and its
beautiful. I want nothing more than to be oblivious to the worlds expectations,
and to love people with reckless abandon, pouring every ounce of myself into
their souls. I don't know how to to do that. But watching literally hundreds
and hundreds of people float mindlessly in and out convinces me that there is
more than school and work and being an educated adult. My priorities are in a
heap on the floor. I just want to stop wasting this precious, precious drop of
time with things that claim to hold value and worth, but make me feel empty.
Love is the greatest investment. I never thought I would learn that while doing
homework in starbucks. I don't know if any of this makes sense at all, and I'll
probably look back on it in five hours and wonder what was in my coffee. It's
uncalled for and it's ridiculous. But there is not a single person in this
world that isn't just that, even a little. And there's not a person in this
world that shouldn't be loved and cherished. It's not my job to save the world,
nor am I capable. But it's my job to be one little world. drops start ripples,
ripples start waves, and when it rains, I want to give every last bit of my
drop. No one could ask me for more, but its even more foolish to ask for
nothing at all and tell me to just keep being a good girl. I want to invest. I
want to sacrifice. I want to hold. I want to offer. I want to supply. I want to
direct. I want to give. I want to become peace. I want to love with a new level
of depth. I want to fall into the soul of God Himself and do it with all that I
am. I ask for nothing more. And I refuse to ask for anything less. I don't know
what any of this means, at all. I'm sorry this is taking twenty minutes of your
life. I don't know if this is significant at all, or if I'll be embarrassed
about it in two days. And I don't know if it's right, or wrong, or completely
outrageous. But to me it's worth entertaining the fact that we could be doing
everything completely wrong, if we discover that deep within us is the way to
do it right. Thanks for listening to my abstract mind, like I said, I don't
know what this means. I don't know what possessed me to write it. But I had to,
so I did, and I had to share it with someone, so I shared it with you. If you
see a grain of sanity and an ounce truth buried in it somewhere, hold me to a
new standard. And maybe give me a little feedback. Thanks for your time.
No credit goes to me for this blog post, I am just the messenger. If you know Karlie Mountjoy, let her know what you thought :)
Sunday, September 9, 2012
Chasing Cars
Has anyone heard the song Chasing Cars ?
Its pretty good.
It also carries a lot of memories with it, for me anyway.
In order to protect the innocent, at least from most of the dangers that could come with this, I'll use false names.
Now I've got your attention, don't I ;)
So this song used to be the "theme song" if you will, of me and the girl I had a crush on in 7th grade
I'll call her Doris.
And really, I don't think this would really hurt anyone, including her, I just didn't ask prior to telling.
Those that were close will know anyway.
But obviously, they were close.
So I thought I loved Doris.
I was 12.
I had just broken from the homeschool scene onto the private christian school scene and I was feeling rebellious.
My parents didn't allow us to date while we were living at home, but since I no longer stayed in my house all day, I saw an opportunity for rule beeeeending.
I was a little green, to say the least.
And I would say, 7th and 8th grade were my most rebellious because of my few "Illicit" and "Undergound" relationships.
Psh.
So anyway, Doris and I passed notes in class, in a secret language that we created.
Well, her and some other of our friends created it and I just used it in case our teacher got a hold of these amorous letters.
So, we held hands a total of 2 times I think? In youth group no less.
I know, you're thinking "This guy is out his mind!"
;)
I was new to it all, ok?
well, we made our own words to chasing cars, but we still enjoyed the original lyrics together.
I thought it would last forever.
But then I realized that a 12yr old's feelings change and one really shouldn't base one's future plans solely on feelings.
It just doesn't work out right.
So, I won't give myself any good rep about this, we kinda petered out and our friendship became rather strange.
That song also became a bit of a bad memory.
I didn't listen to it for a long time., because of that.
But recently, as much as a year ago, I heard it again and it reapplied to my life.
But with a different person.
:D
And this person deserves a whole blog to herself.
But I'll say a little here. Because otherwise, this blog would be pointless.
no plot.
She has ... Ahh.. such lovely hair.
And eyes the color of a stormy ocean. That may sound like they're icy.
But they're comforting.
You'd have to see them to know :P
But physical features, while not few in number, do not define this fine woman's wonderful nature
Don't get the impression that I think her an angel.
She has her share of shortcomings, the most painful to me of which is her willingness to go on dates with people other than me.
But they don't define her.
The thing that you should really know about McKenzie is that she is a fighter.
Her life has been sooo much rougher than mine.
And she may tell you otherwise, but it has affected her, in involuntary ways.
But the nuts thing is, she has realized some of those things and changed them, voluntarily
And some of the things are still in the works. And yes, some are still unknown
But the pros?
:)
Let me just try and describe them.
ya see, we have this mental connection that allows us to communicate in nonverbal ways and when we're together, it just magnifies everything.
She has such a passion for keeping people in a good state of mind and even though her relationship with God is exactly what she wishes it was, I've seen her help other struggling souls along the way.
Myself included.
Now to all my family members that may read this, I know you're either really dissapointed that I still feel so amorous towards McKenzie, vomiting at the thought, or maybe you might just be happy for me.
All I know is we're not gonna make any crazy decisions any time too soon.
And no, she DOESN'T get in the way of my friendship with God.
That roadblock would be myself not making time, not anyone else.
To all you other readers, I don't know if you took anything from this blog, but I would say this:
If you're a girl, try to meet her and take notes
If you're a boy, back off and mourn the fact that you'll never be with her
and in general, everyone, never go into a relationship with selfish ambitions.
And always, always, always, leave it in God's hands.
He's the ultimate matchmaker and He runs on a different time schedule than us.
Hard to swallow, I know.
Did I mention her huggability? McKenzie just fits right in my arms, something I sadly haven't experienced in a few monthes.
But it's ok.
Because "True love will always find a way and I will always come for you"
And I love McKenzie. Be it friends, be it collegues, be it brothers and sisters or be it spouses.
"If I lie here, if I just lie here, would you lie with me and just forget the world?"
Always Hope, Love Regardless, and Peace Out
P.S. If you readers would all pray that God reveals His plan to us, that would be so lovely of you :)
Its pretty good.
It also carries a lot of memories with it, for me anyway.
In order to protect the innocent, at least from most of the dangers that could come with this, I'll use false names.
Now I've got your attention, don't I ;)
So this song used to be the "theme song" if you will, of me and the girl I had a crush on in 7th grade
I'll call her Doris.
And really, I don't think this would really hurt anyone, including her, I just didn't ask prior to telling.
Those that were close will know anyway.
But obviously, they were close.
So I thought I loved Doris.
I was 12.
I had just broken from the homeschool scene onto the private christian school scene and I was feeling rebellious.
My parents didn't allow us to date while we were living at home, but since I no longer stayed in my house all day, I saw an opportunity for rule beeeeending.
I was a little green, to say the least.
And I would say, 7th and 8th grade were my most rebellious because of my few "Illicit" and "Undergound" relationships.
Psh.
So anyway, Doris and I passed notes in class, in a secret language that we created.
Well, her and some other of our friends created it and I just used it in case our teacher got a hold of these amorous letters.
So, we held hands a total of 2 times I think? In youth group no less.
I know, you're thinking "This guy is out his mind!"
;)
I was new to it all, ok?
well, we made our own words to chasing cars, but we still enjoyed the original lyrics together.
I thought it would last forever.
But then I realized that a 12yr old's feelings change and one really shouldn't base one's future plans solely on feelings.
It just doesn't work out right.
So, I won't give myself any good rep about this, we kinda petered out and our friendship became rather strange.
That song also became a bit of a bad memory.
I didn't listen to it for a long time., because of that.
But recently, as much as a year ago, I heard it again and it reapplied to my life.
But with a different person.
:D
And this person deserves a whole blog to herself.
But I'll say a little here. Because otherwise, this blog would be pointless.
no plot.
She has ... Ahh.. such lovely hair.
And eyes the color of a stormy ocean. That may sound like they're icy.
But they're comforting.
You'd have to see them to know :P
But physical features, while not few in number, do not define this fine woman's wonderful nature
Don't get the impression that I think her an angel.
She has her share of shortcomings, the most painful to me of which is her willingness to go on dates with people other than me.
But they don't define her.
The thing that you should really know about McKenzie is that she is a fighter.
Her life has been sooo much rougher than mine.
And she may tell you otherwise, but it has affected her, in involuntary ways.
But the nuts thing is, she has realized some of those things and changed them, voluntarily
And some of the things are still in the works. And yes, some are still unknown
But the pros?
:)
Let me just try and describe them.
ya see, we have this mental connection that allows us to communicate in nonverbal ways and when we're together, it just magnifies everything.
She has such a passion for keeping people in a good state of mind and even though her relationship with God is exactly what she wishes it was, I've seen her help other struggling souls along the way.
Myself included.
Now to all my family members that may read this, I know you're either really dissapointed that I still feel so amorous towards McKenzie, vomiting at the thought, or maybe you might just be happy for me.
All I know is we're not gonna make any crazy decisions any time too soon.
And no, she DOESN'T get in the way of my friendship with God.
That roadblock would be myself not making time, not anyone else.
To all you other readers, I don't know if you took anything from this blog, but I would say this:
If you're a girl, try to meet her and take notes
If you're a boy, back off and mourn the fact that you'll never be with her
and in general, everyone, never go into a relationship with selfish ambitions.
And always, always, always, leave it in God's hands.
He's the ultimate matchmaker and He runs on a different time schedule than us.
Hard to swallow, I know.
Did I mention her huggability? McKenzie just fits right in my arms, something I sadly haven't experienced in a few monthes.
But it's ok.
Because "True love will always find a way and I will always come for you"
And I love McKenzie. Be it friends, be it collegues, be it brothers and sisters or be it spouses.
"If I lie here, if I just lie here, would you lie with me and just forget the world?"
Always Hope, Love Regardless, and Peace Out
P.S. If you readers would all pray that God reveals His plan to us, that would be so lovely of you :)
Thursday, August 30, 2012
Rhythm
If you know me personally, you know I like music.
Now, when I say "like" music, I think we can jump past the recent push to not say "love," when it doesn't entail people, and say
I love music.
There's just nothing like a moving piece of music.
Really, you can't get past that fact.
Music is the language of movement.
You may say, "Now John, logistics is the language of movement."
....
Logistics?
I'm talking about real movement.
Sometimes its physical movement, other times its all mental and emotional.
But I think, if you're "with it" enough to be reading this blog, you have a pretty good working definition of what music is and does for the human species.
BTW, who invented the term "working definition"?
If its already a definition, shouldn't it work?
ah well.
Back to music :D
So, you know what music is. But do you participate in music?
Or do you feel like you don't know how?
I've met a lot of people who say "Oh no, I can't sing" or "I'm just really bad at playing instruments"
....
....
....
Not possible.
The human body is an instrument, after all, a rhythm machine.
Have you ever stopped and thought about your breath?
You breathe with a certain rhythm, even if you THINK you have no concept of beat.
And personally, optimistically, I think if you can realize that, then maybe you can come out of your creative vacuum and become a musician.
If you can understand that you, Dear Reader, already know how to make perfect music, you can do anything :)
at least, in a creative sense.
I'm not promising flight capabilities.
;)
Although, once you get into a song, your mind does take off, a sort of free bird, if you will.
And yeah, its super freeing to be able to slip the bonds of your body for a while and let the rhythm take over.
The nuts thing is, its not at all like drugs. You can get high off music in a most beneficial way :)
And who wouldn't want that?!?!?!?
Seriously. Think about it.
Music melds your brain into a cohesive whole, bringing both hemispheres together in a more perfect harmony.
Your speech is improved, your RHYTHM skills are improved, and quite frankly, if you're listening to music with a good MESSAGE, not title, then your soul may indeed be improved.
Now, even if it is instrumental only music, I still believe that your soul can benefit.
And that's the crazy part.
That's the "I can't explain it, its just happening and I'm enjoying it" part.
Some music will just MOVE you to things...
Tears
Laughter
A higher state of mind.
Soul-Searching
Peace
And I know, you're saying "how can you be 'moved' to peace?"
Peace is a very real, attainable thing. I think we often see peace as something we fall into when there's nothing bad happening to us.
Its not ;)
But I digress.
Peace should be saved for another blog, another day.
What was I even saying?
Ah. Music.
Might I suggest you all listen to these songs ----
Switchfoot - Hello Hurricane
Switchfoot- Where I Belong (I advise high bass settings)
The Classic Crime- The Beginning (I'll accept thank you mail for this link)
'Nuff said.
That's it.
Listen to these songs and you'll realize what music Really is.
Always Hope, Love Regardless and Peace Out
P.S. If anyone really feels like it, suggest topics for me to blog about! If you want my opinion that is.....
Now, when I say "like" music, I think we can jump past the recent push to not say "love," when it doesn't entail people, and say
I love music.
There's just nothing like a moving piece of music.
Really, you can't get past that fact.
Music is the language of movement.
You may say, "Now John, logistics is the language of movement."
....
Logistics?
I'm talking about real movement.
Sometimes its physical movement, other times its all mental and emotional.
But I think, if you're "with it" enough to be reading this blog, you have a pretty good working definition of what music is and does for the human species.
BTW, who invented the term "working definition"?
If its already a definition, shouldn't it work?
ah well.
Back to music :D
So, you know what music is. But do you participate in music?
Or do you feel like you don't know how?
I've met a lot of people who say "Oh no, I can't sing" or "I'm just really bad at playing instruments"
....
....
....
Not possible.
The human body is an instrument, after all, a rhythm machine.
Have you ever stopped and thought about your breath?
You breathe with a certain rhythm, even if you THINK you have no concept of beat.
And personally, optimistically, I think if you can realize that, then maybe you can come out of your creative vacuum and become a musician.
If you can understand that you, Dear Reader, already know how to make perfect music, you can do anything :)
at least, in a creative sense.
I'm not promising flight capabilities.
;)
Although, once you get into a song, your mind does take off, a sort of free bird, if you will.
And yeah, its super freeing to be able to slip the bonds of your body for a while and let the rhythm take over.
The nuts thing is, its not at all like drugs. You can get high off music in a most beneficial way :)
And who wouldn't want that?!?!?!?
Seriously. Think about it.
Music melds your brain into a cohesive whole, bringing both hemispheres together in a more perfect harmony.
Your speech is improved, your RHYTHM skills are improved, and quite frankly, if you're listening to music with a good MESSAGE, not title, then your soul may indeed be improved.
Now, even if it is instrumental only music, I still believe that your soul can benefit.
And that's the crazy part.
That's the "I can't explain it, its just happening and I'm enjoying it" part.
Some music will just MOVE you to things...
Tears
Laughter
A higher state of mind.
Soul-Searching
Peace
And I know, you're saying "how can you be 'moved' to peace?"
Peace is a very real, attainable thing. I think we often see peace as something we fall into when there's nothing bad happening to us.
Its not ;)
But I digress.
Peace should be saved for another blog, another day.
What was I even saying?
Ah. Music.
Might I suggest you all listen to these songs ----
Switchfoot - Hello Hurricane
Switchfoot- Where I Belong (I advise high bass settings)
The Classic Crime- The Beginning (I'll accept thank you mail for this link)
'Nuff said.
That's it.
Listen to these songs and you'll realize what music Really is.
Always Hope, Love Regardless and Peace Out
P.S. If anyone really feels like it, suggest topics for me to blog about! If you want my opinion that is.....
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Loved Ones
It often seems as though things aren't what they are until they end.
Cliche.
Let me explain this cliche in my world.
I was super excited to come to college and took no thought of what it would be like leaving all my friends behind: I only looked to the fun and new experiences of meeting new people.
And was I ever wrong....
:/
All my wonderful York friends, most that I've known since kindergarten or soon thereafter, came to say goodbye with a cake and a big card, on the day I left.
It was so touching.
Especially since the night before, we had all hung out and made cookies and just enjoyed each other's company.
My family is a lot bigger than seven biological people.
Lemme tell ya :)
Another thing with goodbyes, leaving Nebraska Youth Camp for the last time as a camper...
That was rough.
Those of you who read this that were there, I miss you. I love all the memories. I love all those people that made camp, CAMP!
And I know love has become waaaaaaay over used in the past few decades, but I truly do Love all those things I listed.
I love my best friend, McKenzie.
I love my other best friends, Avery, Charlie, Tyler, Reilly, Preston, Corbin, Karlie, Jennie, Amanda, ...... The list could go on.
Like I said, My family is very large.
And I like it that way.
How boring would it be if my fam was tiny and all lived in one place?
Blahh
Even my biological family is spread out.
Michigan.
Australia.
Texas.
California.
Canada.
Heaven :)
All this gushy talk about my love for my fam and extended fam may be sickening to you.
But I doubt it, if you have any semblance of a REAL social life.
Not just those aquaintences that you would go to the mall or Walmart with, but real, true, deep, painfull yet full of joy, Friendships.
And I want to say, don't ever think you have enough.
I have more than is my fair share back home and in various places, yet here at Harding, I'm am creating more and more meaningful friendships, and loves, every passing day.
So the moral of this blog is, you oughta appreciate the peeps that have waltzed onto your dance floor and struck up the dance of life with you.
And find more dance partners!
And tell the ones that are really in step that you enjoy living Life with them, that you Love them.
That's about it :)
You know you got those peeps in ya heart.
And the glorious thing is that they never go anywhere, even if, physically, they are thousands of miles away.
They still love you :)
And you, sure as Heaven, still love them ;)
Always Hope. Love Regardless. Peace Out.
P.S. to my biological family, thanks for life :) and training me to be me :P
Cliche.
Let me explain this cliche in my world.
I was super excited to come to college and took no thought of what it would be like leaving all my friends behind: I only looked to the fun and new experiences of meeting new people.
And was I ever wrong....
:/
All my wonderful York friends, most that I've known since kindergarten or soon thereafter, came to say goodbye with a cake and a big card, on the day I left.
It was so touching.
Especially since the night before, we had all hung out and made cookies and just enjoyed each other's company.
My family is a lot bigger than seven biological people.
Lemme tell ya :)
Another thing with goodbyes, leaving Nebraska Youth Camp for the last time as a camper...
That was rough.
Those of you who read this that were there, I miss you. I love all the memories. I love all those people that made camp, CAMP!
And I know love has become waaaaaaay over used in the past few decades, but I truly do Love all those things I listed.
I love my best friend, McKenzie.
I love my other best friends, Avery, Charlie, Tyler, Reilly, Preston, Corbin, Karlie, Jennie, Amanda, ...... The list could go on.
Like I said, My family is very large.
And I like it that way.
How boring would it be if my fam was tiny and all lived in one place?
Blahh
Even my biological family is spread out.
Michigan.
Australia.
Texas.
California.
Canada.
Heaven :)
All this gushy talk about my love for my fam and extended fam may be sickening to you.
But I doubt it, if you have any semblance of a REAL social life.
Not just those aquaintences that you would go to the mall or Walmart with, but real, true, deep, painfull yet full of joy, Friendships.
And I want to say, don't ever think you have enough.
I have more than is my fair share back home and in various places, yet here at Harding, I'm am creating more and more meaningful friendships, and loves, every passing day.
So the moral of this blog is, you oughta appreciate the peeps that have waltzed onto your dance floor and struck up the dance of life with you.
And find more dance partners!
And tell the ones that are really in step that you enjoy living Life with them, that you Love them.
That's about it :)
You know you got those peeps in ya heart.
And the glorious thing is that they never go anywhere, even if, physically, they are thousands of miles away.
They still love you :)
And you, sure as Heaven, still love them ;)
Always Hope. Love Regardless. Peace Out.
P.S. to my biological family, thanks for life :) and training me to be me :P
Friday, August 10, 2012
Override
Somethings are better left untouched.
What, may you ask, would I mean by that?
Ahhhh, have you ever had a heartache? Have you ever been moved to great emotion by a photograph?
Well, recently, as in 5 minutes ago, I was.
I will not disclose who was in the photo, nor why it moved me, but I figured "Hey, I haven't blogged in a while. And if I'm mooching the neighbors wifi, then why not?"
But then, what to write?
Well, Facebook took care of that for me.
I really just wanted to say, if there's someone in your life that you would do anything for, a son, a brother, a "significant other", you would, undoubtedly, want to spend as much time as you could with that said person.
Am I wrong?
So. What if you really can't? Like me.
My bro, for example, rockstar/actor extraordinaire, lives in Australia. I physically cannot hang out with him as much as I wish I could.
Some of my best friends in the world live in, yes Nebraska, but in towns other than mine.
And since Io no ha un automobile, I am basically as far as anywhere from them.
But, you would argue, there's Skype after all, and Google Hangout.
True.
But you don't get that same ...... Connection via a vchat.
All this to say, I would like to be a bigger part of some of my loved ones lives, but I am stuck far away from them.
And all truth be told, it do be rough.
Especially when some of them seem to move on in my absence.
And I don't want their lives to be centered on me, obviously, that's ridiculous, but hey! I still do exist, ya know?
Whatever the case, I write this blog with a challenge for you.
A call to override yourself when you are emotionally compromised.
Sounds nuts, aye?
Here's the deal y'all.
Just realize that that special someone doesn't think your every thought. They don't feel your every emotional pang. Despite whatever wonderful mental/spiritual connection you and your loved one may seem to share, you absolutely cannot know everything that person is thinking.
Nor they you.
Which is the basis of my hypothesis: when you are feeling like your loverly friend/family member/various loved one is not meeting the requirements that are expected from your relationship, don't sweat it. Take back a step, think through from their perspective, and try to understand that, despite that loverly smile, those smashing eyes, that infectious laugh, they are, in fact
Human.
And they will fail you
Alot.
Many a time.
Not to be a downer, but even after they've failed to uphold their end of the relationship, they'll do it again.
Hard to swallow yet good to know, right?
This really may have nothing to do with your situation, but I doubt that.
I expect that every human on this multicolored planet has been failed by one or more of the other Two-Leggers that live here.
Therefore, after much deliberation, then chucking that deliberation out and starting over, the only thing I've realized is this:
When love seems not worth the pain, when your heart starts to go insane, if you're alive you've stood in the rain, and wondered why there is no train,
to take you far, yes far away, come now, hear what I will say, love's not a game that you simply play, you must live and love anyway. (impromtu poem that is in no way the result of much deliberation)
Just try it with me mah friends. After all, God does it all the time! You think your friends are hard to love at times? Think about us and the way we treat God.
YA.
It's doable.
That's it.
Give it a thinker.
Don't over think it.
Let it rattle in ya noggin for a while.
;)
Always Hope, Love REGARDLESS, and Peace Out
What, may you ask, would I mean by that?
Ahhhh, have you ever had a heartache? Have you ever been moved to great emotion by a photograph?
Well, recently, as in 5 minutes ago, I was.
I will not disclose who was in the photo, nor why it moved me, but I figured "Hey, I haven't blogged in a while. And if I'm mooching the neighbors wifi, then why not?"
But then, what to write?
Well, Facebook took care of that for me.
I really just wanted to say, if there's someone in your life that you would do anything for, a son, a brother, a "significant other", you would, undoubtedly, want to spend as much time as you could with that said person.
Am I wrong?
So. What if you really can't? Like me.
My bro, for example, rockstar/actor extraordinaire, lives in Australia. I physically cannot hang out with him as much as I wish I could.
Some of my best friends in the world live in, yes Nebraska, but in towns other than mine.
And since Io no ha un automobile, I am basically as far as anywhere from them.
But, you would argue, there's Skype after all, and Google Hangout.
True.
But you don't get that same ...... Connection via a vchat.
All this to say, I would like to be a bigger part of some of my loved ones lives, but I am stuck far away from them.
And all truth be told, it do be rough.
Especially when some of them seem to move on in my absence.
And I don't want their lives to be centered on me, obviously, that's ridiculous, but hey! I still do exist, ya know?
Whatever the case, I write this blog with a challenge for you.
A call to override yourself when you are emotionally compromised.
Sounds nuts, aye?
Here's the deal y'all.
Just realize that that special someone doesn't think your every thought. They don't feel your every emotional pang. Despite whatever wonderful mental/spiritual connection you and your loved one may seem to share, you absolutely cannot know everything that person is thinking.
Nor they you.
Which is the basis of my hypothesis: when you are feeling like your loverly friend/family member/various loved one is not meeting the requirements that are expected from your relationship, don't sweat it. Take back a step, think through from their perspective, and try to understand that, despite that loverly smile, those smashing eyes, that infectious laugh, they are, in fact
Human.
And they will fail you
Alot.
Many a time.
Not to be a downer, but even after they've failed to uphold their end of the relationship, they'll do it again.
Hard to swallow yet good to know, right?
This really may have nothing to do with your situation, but I doubt that.
I expect that every human on this multicolored planet has been failed by one or more of the other Two-Leggers that live here.
Therefore, after much deliberation, then chucking that deliberation out and starting over, the only thing I've realized is this:
When love seems not worth the pain, when your heart starts to go insane, if you're alive you've stood in the rain, and wondered why there is no train,
to take you far, yes far away, come now, hear what I will say, love's not a game that you simply play, you must live and love anyway. (impromtu poem that is in no way the result of much deliberation)
Just try it with me mah friends. After all, God does it all the time! You think your friends are hard to love at times? Think about us and the way we treat God.
YA.
It's doable.
That's it.
Give it a thinker.
Don't over think it.
Let it rattle in ya noggin for a while.
;)
Always Hope, Love REGARDLESS, and Peace Out
Thursday, August 2, 2012
Fabuloso....Things
I'm at York, NE's version of an all around awesome hang out spot.
Which, by the way, did not exist until I was graduated from highschool and heading 12 hours away to college.
:(
Oh well. I'm capitalizing while it lasts.
This place is called "Our FabUloso Creations" and they sell cold stone ice cream, coffee, and random lunch items, such as meatloaf, quiche and other random, but I'm sure very tasty, creations.
Needless to say, its got a good vibe :)
But the reason I'm here today is to mooch WiFi. Liz, if you read this, sorry I mooched from your workplace.
Kinda.
Anyway, I really want to capitalize on what summer truly is, at least for a guy who is in between schooling at the moment and on the verge of jumping into My adult life.
Heavy stuff, I know.
But it'll be one of the greatest experiences, greatest four years of my life.
Maybe.
Either way, I'm looking forward to it.
Kinesiology, Statistics, Environmental Science, Life and Teachings of Jesus, Music Appreciation, and Intro to Psychology.
And maybe Choir?
Needless to say, Summer time is a pseudo relax time cause it's just going to make going to university a lot more difficult in contrast.
Either way, I am ready for it.
All the crazy schedules and such, I'll be busy, but I'll love it.
Always Hope, Love Regardless, and Peace Out
Which, by the way, did not exist until I was graduated from highschool and heading 12 hours away to college.
:(
Oh well. I'm capitalizing while it lasts.
This place is called "Our FabUloso Creations" and they sell cold stone ice cream, coffee, and random lunch items, such as meatloaf, quiche and other random, but I'm sure very tasty, creations.
Needless to say, its got a good vibe :)
But the reason I'm here today is to mooch WiFi. Liz, if you read this, sorry I mooched from your workplace.
Kinda.
Anyway, I really want to capitalize on what summer truly is, at least for a guy who is in between schooling at the moment and on the verge of jumping into My adult life.
Heavy stuff, I know.
But it'll be one of the greatest experiences, greatest four years of my life.
Maybe.
Either way, I'm looking forward to it.
Kinesiology, Statistics, Environmental Science, Life and Teachings of Jesus, Music Appreciation, and Intro to Psychology.
And maybe Choir?
Needless to say, Summer time is a pseudo relax time cause it's just going to make going to university a lot more difficult in contrast.
Either way, I am ready for it.
All the crazy schedules and such, I'll be busy, but I'll love it.
Always Hope, Love Regardless, and Peace Out
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
A Simple Thought
So I realize it has been a few days since my last post.
The world is still here tho.
No worries ;)
BUT! I wanna blog about something! Idk what yet, but I'm obvs blogging at the moment.
So I want to say, this summer has been absolutely insane. And I'm about to be at NEBRASKA YOUTH CAMP for 4 weeks straight
:D HAHAH I'm so psyched y'all, so psyched.
But the question comes to mind, why do I love NYC so much?
Is it the people? maybe, I do love lots of people out there
Is it the atmosphere? well, I do dig it
Is it the weather? NO!
Is it the God time that I get? mmm, not a ton. I feel closer to God at home usually. Which is swapped with everyone else that I've talked to. Everyone gets a "Spiritual High" while at camp. I get..... Friendly with lots of people :) And not in a weird way yall, not at all.
I started this Blog before I went out to camp and I Thought that my good ol' man deleted it on accident.
mmm.
Don't assume anything :)
But I want you to see the excitement I had to be out at my second home.
Now, on this side of it, after the end, that excitement was well founded.
I've grown so much at this camp, I want anyone who reads this to give it a try.
Honestly.
Try it out.
You see how I said " I usually don't get super close to God at camp"? Well, this year, God taught me different.
He is my constant companion now, Always listening to my cares, joys and concerns.
Try it out. I beg you.
Always Hope, Love Regardless, Peace Out
The world is still here tho.
No worries ;)
BUT! I wanna blog about something! Idk what yet, but I'm obvs blogging at the moment.
So I want to say, this summer has been absolutely insane. And I'm about to be at NEBRASKA YOUTH CAMP for 4 weeks straight
:D HAHAH I'm so psyched y'all, so psyched.
But the question comes to mind, why do I love NYC so much?
Is it the people? maybe, I do love lots of people out there
Is it the atmosphere? well, I do dig it
Is it the weather? NO!
Is it the God time that I get? mmm, not a ton. I feel closer to God at home usually. Which is swapped with everyone else that I've talked to. Everyone gets a "Spiritual High" while at camp. I get..... Friendly with lots of people :) And not in a weird way yall, not at all.
I started this Blog before I went out to camp and I Thought that my good ol' man deleted it on accident.
mmm.
Don't assume anything :)
But I want you to see the excitement I had to be out at my second home.
Now, on this side of it, after the end, that excitement was well founded.
I've grown so much at this camp, I want anyone who reads this to give it a try.
Honestly.
Try it out.
You see how I said " I usually don't get super close to God at camp"? Well, this year, God taught me different.
He is my constant companion now, Always listening to my cares, joys and concerns.
Try it out. I beg you.
Always Hope, Love Regardless, Peace Out
Chipmunks, Sherbet, and Common Bonds
Wow. Where has the time gone?
This summer has been SO full of friends, adventure, God, new experiences, tears, Love, and travel.
I do not know where to start.
So, I'll go with my most recent escapade and work Backwards
Wisdom teeth removal- July 30th
I go to the dentist, get my first IV, my first thumb clasp heart monitor and my first intraveineous drugs. Well, first drugs period. When I woke up, I couldn't feel my chin, lower lip, or tongue. Lemme tell you, that's a weird place to be at. I was a little loopy, with my mouth full of bloody cotton. But I couldn't feel my lips!!!!!
If you, dear reader, must ever have your lips numb, be ye warned.
It's strange.
SO! Now, two days later, my cheeks have swollen to at least 3 times normal size and my lovely friends, Charlie, Jennie, Caleb, and Colten visited me and brought me lime sherbet.
May you all have lime sherbet bearing friends to comfort you in you time of need.
Pretty much, now I'm chilling with what looks like a pound of blueberries in my cheeks. But they do not exist. Call me crazy.
Call me, Maybe?
Bahhhhh, humbug. I really can't think of other things to say. The real world is as messed up as ever, such a contrast with the oasis of camp. Even though there still are broken people at camp, the brokenness of the world has no foothold there.
30 minutes of Alone Time with God everyday? Glorious.
3 hours of focused Bible classes a day? Wonderful
4 weeks of being with my Favorite people IN THE WORLD? Mind-melting, Heart-healing, Soul-searching Heaven.
But really, cumon, the people wouldn't mean as much if we didn't have the common bond of Christianity.
If we weren't all connected to God and therefore connected to millions of people around the world, we would never ever have gone out to camp in the first place. I know some of my friends, my brothers and sisters in the NYC family, feel disconnected from Him.
Let me tell you this, my dear ones: He holds you up. You cannot let Him down, and even IF you could, is He not strong enough to heal both your and His wounds? Please, come to the understanding that you WILL fail, the only difference between you and the other lost souls of the world, is that you have a Goal.
A choice.
A meaning to life.
Always Hope. Love Regardless. Peace Out
This summer has been SO full of friends, adventure, God, new experiences, tears, Love, and travel.
I do not know where to start.
So, I'll go with my most recent escapade and work Backwards
Wisdom teeth removal- July 30th
I go to the dentist, get my first IV, my first thumb clasp heart monitor and my first intraveineous drugs. Well, first drugs period. When I woke up, I couldn't feel my chin, lower lip, or tongue. Lemme tell you, that's a weird place to be at. I was a little loopy, with my mouth full of bloody cotton. But I couldn't feel my lips!!!!!
If you, dear reader, must ever have your lips numb, be ye warned.
It's strange.
SO! Now, two days later, my cheeks have swollen to at least 3 times normal size and my lovely friends, Charlie, Jennie, Caleb, and Colten visited me and brought me lime sherbet.
May you all have lime sherbet bearing friends to comfort you in you time of need.
Pretty much, now I'm chilling with what looks like a pound of blueberries in my cheeks. But they do not exist. Call me crazy.
Call me, Maybe?
Bahhhhh, humbug. I really can't think of other things to say. The real world is as messed up as ever, such a contrast with the oasis of camp. Even though there still are broken people at camp, the brokenness of the world has no foothold there.
30 minutes of Alone Time with God everyday? Glorious.
3 hours of focused Bible classes a day? Wonderful
4 weeks of being with my Favorite people IN THE WORLD? Mind-melting, Heart-healing, Soul-searching Heaven.
But really, cumon, the people wouldn't mean as much if we didn't have the common bond of Christianity.
If we weren't all connected to God and therefore connected to millions of people around the world, we would never ever have gone out to camp in the first place. I know some of my friends, my brothers and sisters in the NYC family, feel disconnected from Him.
Let me tell you this, my dear ones: He holds you up. You cannot let Him down, and even IF you could, is He not strong enough to heal both your and His wounds? Please, come to the understanding that you WILL fail, the only difference between you and the other lost souls of the world, is that you have a Goal.
A choice.
A meaning to life.
Always Hope. Love Regardless. Peace Out
Saturday, June 23, 2012
Maccas
Maccas? That's the Aussie word for McDonalds :) We like to shorten everything in Australia. And I know, someone it going to stumble upon my blog and say, "Wait a sec. Is he Australian?" I realize that. But yes, I was born in OZ. And I have dual citizenship. SO! The point of this blog is to let you all know of my new found relationship with Maccas. I have spent quite a bit of money at Maccas in the past few days and also spent a considerable amount of time in the Maccas on the corner of Adams and Wells st in Chicago, waiting for a bus. The last time I was in Chicago, on the 19th of June, I sat 3 feet from this very spot for a few hours, doing the same thing. Cept that time, I was writing in my Journal about my encounters with the poor of Chicago. And now, I will fill you in on those happenstances.
When I got off the bus at around 6:30 ish, I think, on June 19th, I began to stretch my legs and look around. I had only been to Chicago a handful times before, once by train for family vacation, twice to spend the night on a mission trip by people mover, and twice to catch a plane to the Dominican Republic. But I had only really walked around while on vacation with my fam. And that time we were in a different part of Chicago. All that to say, a few days ago was my first real, solo experience with Chicago. So I got off the bus and started looking around and who should come up but an African American woman asking for money to get bus tickets to a shelter for the night for her and her children (who were not with her at the time). I was willing to listen to story, mostly because I just saw someone shoot her down and I was pretty vulnerable, having just got off a 9 hour bus ride. So I listened to her story, the bus cost 2.20 per person per ride and she had two children and they needed to get to a shelter for the night. I asked her where her kids were and she pointed over her shoulder and said back that way. A little sketchy, I know. But I was filled with compassion, like it says sometimes that Jesus was? Your head knows that she might be lying, but your heart hears a crying soul asking for help. So I said "so you need about 7 dollars yeah? Ive got a five if that will help" she says " not that won't pay for it all" and this may have been my naivety or just my compassion but I ended up giving her ten bucks. She said "God bless you" and hurried off. I was left with conflicted emotions. Had I just saved a family from a night on the streets? Had I just payed an overdue bill? Had I just supported an illegal drug habit? Had I just "purchased" a bottle of liquor? All I knew was that I had done what Jesus would have done. "Ask and it shall be given unto you" The lady asked and I, as Jesus's hands and feet, gave. But who knows??? Maybe I was wrong. I tried not to overthink it as it was already done. But a few minutes passed as I looked over my Chicago map and another African American, this time a man, approached me and asked if I knew where I was going. I said I would like to see the Sears Tower and that I had lots of time to kill, so any thing of interest that was within walking distance. He said he was going that direction anyway so he would take me there. It was only a few blocks away. As we walked, somehow God was brought up and he said he was a Christian and I said I was too. He told me of his mothers recent, the day before, passing and I was sympathetic. I told him of my journey to AR and he said Little Rock was a friendly town. Then he tells me of his need to visit his sister and the 15 dollar bus ticket he needs to buy. He wasn't pushy about it at all, just mentioned it a few times as we looked up at the Sears Tower. I took the opportunity to tell him how poor I was, with all my money intended for food on my journey. He said any little bit would help, he already had 6 dollars. So I gave him 5 bucks. He was so grateful. We exchanged names, handshakes, and blessings. He showed me the general direction of a city park where I could hang out. Then we parted ways. Again, I was torn between my philanthropist tendencies and my poor college student status. Could I afford to be Jesus' hands and feet? idk, but my whole life I've been rather on the lower end of the wealth scale and money has always come when I needed it. So I trust that God will supply my need.
So, I know starting a sentence with so is bad grammar and this blog has become quite long. But what is the ideal Blog length? Feedback would be nice :) Anyway, I want to challenge you all with something. When you get the feeling that someone really needs your help and you have ANY extra money, give it away. Just try releasing financial control of your life to Jesus. He is the ultimate banker after all and He will not let you go hungry. No matter how much money you have, if He clothes the lilies of the field in such splendor, will He not take care of you? TTFN blog followers, talk to you soon
When I got off the bus at around 6:30 ish, I think, on June 19th, I began to stretch my legs and look around. I had only been to Chicago a handful times before, once by train for family vacation, twice to spend the night on a mission trip by people mover, and twice to catch a plane to the Dominican Republic. But I had only really walked around while on vacation with my fam. And that time we were in a different part of Chicago. All that to say, a few days ago was my first real, solo experience with Chicago. So I got off the bus and started looking around and who should come up but an African American woman asking for money to get bus tickets to a shelter for the night for her and her children (who were not with her at the time). I was willing to listen to story, mostly because I just saw someone shoot her down and I was pretty vulnerable, having just got off a 9 hour bus ride. So I listened to her story, the bus cost 2.20 per person per ride and she had two children and they needed to get to a shelter for the night. I asked her where her kids were and she pointed over her shoulder and said back that way. A little sketchy, I know. But I was filled with compassion, like it says sometimes that Jesus was? Your head knows that she might be lying, but your heart hears a crying soul asking for help. So I said "so you need about 7 dollars yeah? Ive got a five if that will help" she says " not that won't pay for it all" and this may have been my naivety or just my compassion but I ended up giving her ten bucks. She said "God bless you" and hurried off. I was left with conflicted emotions. Had I just saved a family from a night on the streets? Had I just payed an overdue bill? Had I just supported an illegal drug habit? Had I just "purchased" a bottle of liquor? All I knew was that I had done what Jesus would have done. "Ask and it shall be given unto you" The lady asked and I, as Jesus's hands and feet, gave. But who knows??? Maybe I was wrong. I tried not to overthink it as it was already done. But a few minutes passed as I looked over my Chicago map and another African American, this time a man, approached me and asked if I knew where I was going. I said I would like to see the Sears Tower and that I had lots of time to kill, so any thing of interest that was within walking distance. He said he was going that direction anyway so he would take me there. It was only a few blocks away. As we walked, somehow God was brought up and he said he was a Christian and I said I was too. He told me of his mothers recent, the day before, passing and I was sympathetic. I told him of my journey to AR and he said Little Rock was a friendly town. Then he tells me of his need to visit his sister and the 15 dollar bus ticket he needs to buy. He wasn't pushy about it at all, just mentioned it a few times as we looked up at the Sears Tower. I took the opportunity to tell him how poor I was, with all my money intended for food on my journey. He said any little bit would help, he already had 6 dollars. So I gave him 5 bucks. He was so grateful. We exchanged names, handshakes, and blessings. He showed me the general direction of a city park where I could hang out. Then we parted ways. Again, I was torn between my philanthropist tendencies and my poor college student status. Could I afford to be Jesus' hands and feet? idk, but my whole life I've been rather on the lower end of the wealth scale and money has always come when I needed it. So I trust that God will supply my need.
So, I know starting a sentence with so is bad grammar and this blog has become quite long. But what is the ideal Blog length? Feedback would be nice :) Anyway, I want to challenge you all with something. When you get the feeling that someone really needs your help and you have ANY extra money, give it away. Just try releasing financial control of your life to Jesus. He is the ultimate banker after all and He will not let you go hungry. No matter how much money you have, if He clothes the lilies of the field in such splendor, will He not take care of you? TTFN blog followers, talk to you soon
Monday, June 18, 2012
The Bus Ride of a Lifetime
Tomorrow morning, the 19th of June, I am leaving on a bus for Chicago. At ten A.M. If yall read my past blog post, I have been uber tired for quite some time because I have been doing various and sundrious amazing and just plain goodo things. Ecaudor, Leadership Camp, Soul Quest... Gosh... now I am going to Arkansas on a bus for two days, I will be there for two days, then traveling home for two days. Some may say to me " why would you do that to your body for just two days of event and four days of travel?" well.
I have no idea. Actually, I do know. It's an adventure!! It's my first foray into the adult world. It's my first expedition completely solooooo. And man oh man, am I stoked. One of my newfound friends reminded me that I'll have an entire day isolated, by myself, to contemplate life and the world. And I agree. But I think I'll read a couple books. Or watch Once Upon a Forest! Or listen to some new music. Oh. Or, hahaha silly me, I might SLEEP! Novel idea. Maybe I'll write a poem about riding a bus while contemplating life and books? Whatever. I'll find something to do. The important thing is that I make my connections. Another thing is, what am I gonna do while I'm waiting for the next bus? FOR THREE HOURS?!?! In Chicago. On the street. Maybe I'll evangelize a homeless guy. But I'll probly either find some coffee within an easy walking distance radius from the bus terminal or. Sleep. Anyway, I gots to go. If there is internet on the bus, I'll BLOG! But, that's all for now. ttfn yall, Have a goodo night. Untill next time
I have no idea. Actually, I do know. It's an adventure!! It's my first foray into the adult world. It's my first expedition completely solooooo. And man oh man, am I stoked. One of my newfound friends reminded me that I'll have an entire day isolated, by myself, to contemplate life and the world. And I agree. But I think I'll read a couple books. Or watch Once Upon a Forest! Or listen to some new music. Oh. Or, hahaha silly me, I might SLEEP! Novel idea. Maybe I'll write a poem about riding a bus while contemplating life and books? Whatever. I'll find something to do. The important thing is that I make my connections. Another thing is, what am I gonna do while I'm waiting for the next bus? FOR THREE HOURS?!?! In Chicago. On the street. Maybe I'll evangelize a homeless guy. But I'll probly either find some coffee within an easy walking distance radius from the bus terminal or. Sleep. Anyway, I gots to go. If there is internet on the bus, I'll BLOG! But, that's all for now. ttfn yall, Have a goodo night. Untill next time
Sunday, June 17, 2012
What to Do? a poem
Is there anything to do? Never in the winter
When we feel the schooly blues, come on summer!
Hoping for a feeling to enrich me with those sights and sounds
And looking for the truth, such a bummer!
When you hear the sound of quests and dreams, Let it simmer
Adventure's long and sleeping in, What is better?
Keepin up a purpose to support you in the end of life
Don't let life just pass you by, Make it better
and now i must go. Look for more blogs on the bus ride of a life time!
Saturday, June 9, 2012
To Sleep or Not To SLEEP!
The past few weeks have been absolutely ridiculous. On may 22, I went to Ecuador with the East Hill Youth Group. It was an amazing time but the purpose of THIS post is not to inform you on that. More later. Let it be said, I didn't sleep the best on the trip, as it was pretty full on!, and we had some crazy entire days of travel. Anyway, moral of the story is we got back to good ole' York at 12:30 on Saturday the 2nd of June. The 3rd of June, I went to Leadership Camp at Nebraska Youth Camp. More on that later too. But the moral of THAT story was that we went to bed at an average 3:30 AM. Needless to say, Insanity is my fourth given name. When I returned from Leadership Camp, a changed person, I chilled for half a day. Talked to the Rotary Club about Ecuador. Chilled. Slept. Mowed. Chilled. Played Music. chilled.... Then Friday the 8th of June........ I went to the Chiropractor!!!!!! And it did nothing. Then I mowed some more, made some tshirts, watched a chic flic, played Halo ALL NIGHT, then slept on a floor for 4 hours. This brings me to now. I'm wiped. Soul Quest starts tomorrow and me oh my, I am gonna die. I made a pact that I would go to bed early the first three nights.... But everyone knows that's gonna fall through in the first five minutes. It is so conflicting tho because I really love partying at 3 in the morning, but my body does not. What to do? I just thrash this flesh man until he can't even walk or see straight then I thrash some more. And it's AWESOME! And its TERRIBLE! And........... I do it some more. (sigh) Tim Foreman, the bassist in Switchfoot, once said "I'll sleep when I'm dead." so true. But I wanna Sleep NOW and I don't want to DIE now, so I am in a situation. To Sleep or not to Sleep? That is the question that my sleep deprived brain is trying to muddle through right now. And let me tell you, Dear Reader, it's rough. Sleep while you're young ;) And stay away from boiled cabbage. TTFN :)
Ahhhh the first blog of my life. Feels good. This Blog is just going to be about my life and what God does in it. So, it may have purpose sometimes and sometimes it will be randomness. I may post everyday and I may post once a month. Who knows? This may be the only post ever. You'll just have to find out :) I gotta shout out to Lisa Bloecher, Bailey Cate, Bailey Kinney, Soren Tobey, Liz Fillman and anyone else who wanted me to start a blog. We'll see what happens
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